As we conclude this fiasco of a vacation (I use that word loosely), it brings it all back. . .
I understand Joyce and Michael's comment saying that we should have answered. But, as Joyce now says when she sees the footage since she wasn't there, I answered on the beach -- and that for most people would've been enough.
So when I witness Yolanda stating I left because I didn't want to have that conversation. . .she was right. I knew what they were looking for. They were looking for blood. It is quite fascinating to see the two-faced conversations, full of animosity from people I believed to be friends, that led up to this. I hope they are proud of themselves and what they see. I wouldn't be -- that's a certainty.
I do believe that if you state categorically, denying the accusation, as I did to Kyle saying"I did not see the magazines when we were at Brandi's house." I was baffled, but still defending myself. To then keep perpetually interrogating me with the same question -- well at that point that is tantamount to being called a liar. I should only have to answer it once. When I see Mauricio calling me a "f---ing bitch" on the beach over a rumor from the trustworthy Brandi, that hurts. Kim had only heard it from Brandi too. She wasn't there. . . but was acting as if she was a viable witness. Then in an interview, for Kim to say she was glad we were gone -- that spoke volumes.
Yolanda now states in her blog that no, she never saw me with the magazine. I wish she had said that at the time. Carlton who was there too and potentially could have supported me -- she confirmed that also. I had been the last one to arrive. We were in the hallway and no she also never saw the tabloid. Where was this all coming from?
Carlton had been cancelled from the trip, which was a shame as she could have backed me up. The point of this conversation was mystifying. What could possibly result from it? Nobody had mentioned the tabloid all weekend when we had been in Palm Springs. We had given the stories the credence they deserved. The only result that could transpire from this assertion was a wedge between Kyle and I.
I had had enough. I have precious little spare time at the moment and had really reached my limit. You only see 43 minutes. I was there two days.
I was confronted by Yolanda and chastised with accusation of not being a supportive friend. It was outside just before I joined the table. She was accusing me of only coming to see her twice -- once, for dinner opposite her house with our husbands, and once to sit with her in her bedroom. She lives 45 minutes from BH not around the corner.
It did not really make sense to me. I had been busy on Dancing With the Stars. She was at many of our group events -- in the boxing ring, at the circus event, and I hadn't seen her as particularly frail. Although I'm sure this Lyme Disease is challenging, in fact I was quite impressed at her strength as she throttled the poor, unsuspecting teacher.
She also stated that I had let Brandi down by pulling away, but Lord knows I had tried to help her. I think as a friend you accept them for what they are and try to help them with what they can become. Of course, I had tried to slow down her drinking, especially when we were all together as a group for the world to see. And, well you know what reaction transpired from that. . .
I had unequivocally been told to back off. They were becoming closer. I was informed I was not going to Sacramento and I understood that and there seemed to be strengthening in their relationship, almost like allies. It all so contradictory. "You mother me too much. " "You haven't called me for a week." I have my own children and businesses and am always there in an hour of need -- as I was many a time even in an emergency. That is what a friend does, no questions asked. I know I am that three o'clock in the morning phone call to the people I include as friends. I also know in my heart that Ken and I had been incredibly supportive in many ways. I won't explain that. I don't need to count. If you count you will always be behind.
When we left that hotel, after Kim had been pretty abusive with no regret, we knew to stay or inform them that we were exhausted by the unrelenting accusations and wanted to leave it would result in an even more complicated scenario. We looked at each other as we were going to bed, saddened by the day's events and decided to get the hell out of there -- to find the most glorious hotel on the island and vanish for a few days, to recover and lick my wounds. So that is what happened. Ken had unfortunately developed an infection, potentially septicemia in his arm. We had to find an emergency doctor who came to us at the St Regis. He had his elbow lanced, intravenous antibiotics, and a course of treatment. I am sure when they discovered we weren't there in the morning, they all rejoiced in Puerto Rico that the witch was dead and some, who had orchestrated this attack, could now have center stage. . . That ultimately is what this is all about.
A week passed. Yolanda tweeted a photo of Kyle and Kim tagged "girl power" so I knew they were united by their common enemy and that it was a subliminal message to me. Carlton came over and I tried to explain to her how I felt, but I still felt too emotional. You have seen me for a 120 episodes and rarely, if ever, have seen me cry. I don't like to show that and I hate to watch it now. But I was deeply hurt and had not heard from any of them, which was fascinating by virtue of the fact that this was just an accusation, hurled by someone who had a penchant for vindictive, defamatory statements.
As we witness the girls prepare for college, it was a poignant moment. As a parent, I have been through the emotional wrench as our children leave the nest. I developed shingles when Max went. But now I think I would have it if they came back! But all those years of preparing them, and then it's over and you wait with bated breath for that phone call when they need you and your job as a mother is not redundant -- the validation that you are the one they turn to.
The one thing I hope for, is that as our children make their way. We have instilled in them the most fundamental lesson, to be kind to one another and remember honesty is only a virtue when coupled with kindness. . .Thank you for watching.