After dropping Alexia off at college, I wanted to distract myself by spending time with friends and laughing. I thought a day at a spa with the girls would be fun. All was good until the wine tasting! The wine tasting was an absolute mistake. The hotel was going to set up a day for us. I didn't know many of the details, except that we would have massages and be eating lunch there. Kim has always maintained that she is fine being around others drinking at social events. However, being put into a situation where we are supposed to be interacting, like a wine tasting where she couldn't even participate, felt awful. I never would have intentionally put Kim in that situation. In fact, I offered to leave but Kim insisted she was fine. We didn't stay long and got out of there.
I had been looking forward to poker night, because I really like Eileen and wanted to get to know her better. Besides, I had never played poker before and thought it would be fun to learn.
Eileen's home is lovely. Brandi's rude comments about Eileen's home were uncalled for. You would think after throwing the wine at Eileen she would be bending over backwards to be nice to her.
Almost from the moment we started playing poker, things were extremely uncomfortable. I could see Kim was "off" but wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation.
One thing that was very clear to me in watching this is that Brandi is not my friend. Never has been. I have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but always kept her at arms' length. To see her pretending to be friends with me in the car ride to Eileen's and then turning on me made things abundantly clear to me. Brandi can't be a friend to anyone. Including my sister.
Brandi clearly has been driving a wedge between my sister and me, which seems to have been her master plan from the beginning.
Her comments about me always being jealous of Kim's career couldn't be further from the truth. That is not how we were raised. My mom always taught us that any success the three of had ( Kathy, Kim, and Kyle) was a "feather in all our caps."
As a child, you aren't thinking of your "career." In fact, often I would hate that I had to work, because I would be missing something like a friend's birthday party. Brandi pretending she knows us, our history, or anything about our relationship is hurtful and frustrating. She is a new person in our lives whom we have no history with. She makes these comments to be mean and cause Kim to question her relationship with me. Apparently it's working.
What Brandi was calling jealousy was actually concern. Perhaps Brandi always assuming everyone is jealous is her projecting.
I went to the bathroom and Kim followed me in. Brandi seems to not have even wanted Kim to come to the bathroom to talk to me.
I whispered for obvious reasons, but Kim directly talked about what was going on with her that night. Kim told me she had taken a pill because she had been in pain. I was disappointed but felt she was being more open than in the past. At the very least, it was a situation we could deal with, because she was communicating openly about what was happening. We hugged and left the bathroom, and I thought everything was OK between us. My sister has been under a lot of pressure taking care of her ex-husband, Monty. If she had slipped, it would have been understandable, and the fact that we had talked about it made me feel better. Next thing I know Kim says to me "thanks for doing that," says she is leaving, and is clearly upset with me.
Kim being mad at me made no sense, which made me more concerned for the situation and her well-being. I wanted to pull her away from everyone to speak privately but Brandi wasn't allowing us to, as though she somehow needed to "protect" my sister from me, when clearly my sister needed a loved one to make sure she was OK (which is why she followed me into the bathroom). Brandi was putting her arm up and blocking me from being able to talk to my sister. Many things are going through my head at this point: Concern for my sister and for our relationship that we have worked so hard on and the fear that a manageable (yet concerning) situation might spiral out of control, because one person seemed to be using it to her advantage in a dangerous way.
I was extremely frustrated that this person, who is not family or anyone I consider close, is keeping me from my sister. She put her arm up to block me, and I first said, "Please don't do that." I then pushed her arm down to stop her from blocking me from Kim. As Kim was leaving and Brandi was walking out with her and blocking me, I pulled her arm back to stop her from keeping Kim and me apart.
It is very clear to me that Brandi takes advantage of Kim when she is at her most vulnerable and wants her to believe that she is the only one that cares or understands her.
I simply wanted to get to my sister out of concern. The last person I wanted Kim with was a drunk Brandi.
Watching Kim and Brandi talking outside it is very clear to me that Brandi takes advantage of Kim when she is at her most vulnerable and wants her to believe that she is the only one that cares or understands her. Brandi also is using my sister to look like she is taking care of Kim and distracting us from Brandi's own obvious issues.
This was the end of Brandi's and my "friendship." And the beginning of another bumpy road in Kim's and my relationship.
Until next week...
Thanks for watching.