Kathryn Edwards: Say It, Own It, Move on
Kathryn thinks her birthday dinner was a waste of what could have been a great night.
Hello Everyone,
It was my birthday! It's that one day a year where it's supposed to be nothing but joyous and fun, filled with laughter and good wishes...well, some people didn't get the memo.
It started off so pleasant. Erika and I had a nice morning getting ready for the mall, but as soon as we came down to the lobby, the cold shoulders and tension between Lisa R, Eileen and Lisa V were palpable. I thought that we'd all be able to reconnect and have some shallow conversation over shopping and purchases--because that mall was fabulous--but no.
I was trying to keep spirits up and act like I didn't notice the ice between them, but I don't think I was very convincing.
Here we are, 8,315 miles from home...in a foreign land, with each other, trying to make this a memorable trip...
Can we try that, please?
Is it possible that a ride up the Burj Khalifa could scare some of us into forgiveness and acceptance and make everything else seem petty compared to the long way down? Maybe.
Kyle gave Lisa V some good coaching on the apology, but the problem is Lisa V. really doesn't want to apologize, especially for something that she doesn't feel guilty about. When Eileen said, "I really appreciate you saying that" with regard to Lisa V apologizing and Lisa V says "OK," I read that as "now get over it," and at that moment I could see that Eileen still felt like it wasn't the apology she wants. UUUUUGH! I feel like a broken record at this point.
It's so obvious that there is a difference of opinions on the topic, and as much as I understand that, there are two sides and these two sides will never make a whole, so again, please, let's move on...I'm begging at this point. It's nails on a chalkboard to me, and I want to let out a silent scream when I hear this topic anymore.
Watching Yolanda with Kim and Brandi was sweet. I like the support they feel for each other, it's nice. I don't question their friendships...it's not my place...just like we shouldn't question the friendship between Lisa V and Kyle. If it works for them, why should anyone care what the bond is formed over.
There was a bright spot on my birthday. Getting ready for the dinner with Erika, Mickey, Scott and Frank was a treat.
I really did feel beautiful, and it was so nice of Erika to ask them to make me gorgeous for the night. We put the past behind us, and it felt like we finally forged a real friendship. While the others argued, we found our way.
P.S. Scott Barnes has a homemade primer that is the holy grail of perfect makeup. Scott, please package and sell that stuff, I need it!
So off we go to that fabulous yacht, on this gorgeous night, for a birthday dinner that will go down as one of the biggest wastes of what could have been a great night.
Let me paint the picture for you: We get to the dock, the yacht is magnificent and lit up so beautifully, the evening breeze is refreshing, the Dubai skyline is amazing, the champagne is chilled and we all look like we should be enjoying a fairytale evening.
The conversation starts off light...we are able to laugh a little, and it seems like this might turn out alright.
When my mom called to wish me a happy birthday, I lost it. She is getting older now and has developed dementia. She is still quite cognizant and lucid most times, but her short-term memory has been affected, so when my phone rang I was so happy to know she remembered the day and where I was.
You see, I wouldn't care if she asked me the same question 100 times in one hour. I'd answer her every time like it was the first time she asked. I'm so grateful that she's happy and for the most part, very healthy. She has a heart of gold. She taught us how to be kind, how to show love and compassion, and how to persevere through the hard times. I'm proud to be her daughter.
Watching the other ladies get emotional made me cry...I feel for their loss and I know what it means.
Finally, the dinner from hell. It's all the same thing, rehashed over again. You all know the story...Rinna said Lisa V tried to throw Kyle under the bus, Kyle doesn't care if she did or didn't. Lisa V doesn't want Kyle or any of us for that matter to believe she did that. Eileen is still pissed about the apology that she isn't getting and now has taken up Rinna's argument with Lisa V because she and Rinna feel as if she was manipulated into the Munchausen comment and wants Lisa V. to cop to all of the above. Kyle tells Lisa V. that she loves her and that they are good and just to let it go, Lisa V isn't good with that.
I felt like I was "man down, man down" if I had sat there and listened to one more word of it. I had enough, I wanted Kyle to verbally say that she believed Rinna and just put an end to it. There was so much hemming and hawing and we are all smarter than that. I prefer the directness of the truth. Say it, own it, move on.
How could all of this be such a huge issue when the two people it concerns aren't concerned?
Rinna made the Munchausen comment. I don't buy the manipulation accusation whereas Rinna wouldn't have said it if she wasn't goaded by Lisa V.
Sorry, I'm a big believer in accountability. Rinna is a smart woman who has maneuvered Hollywood and much bigger sharks than Lisa V.
I believe that Rinna made the conscious choice to engage in the conversation and then wanted to fess up to Yolanda to clear her conscience.
Sh--, would Yolanda have ever found out that Rinna's hairdresser was talking about this if Rinna never offered the info up to everyone?
Maybe I'm naive but I don't see the master manipulator in Lisa V. She has never said one bad word about any of them to me. Not one. She never tried to convince me of anything. Maybe I don't come across as someone who will follow, but nonetheless, personal accountability has to be first and foremost.
Kyle was so sweet trying to salvage the evening with the cake, the flowers and such a great gift from her and Lisa V.
I was really sad that this was the way the evening turned out.
I do feel that I should share this, a slight disclaimer on the night: Erika and I went back to our suite and ate the cake and drank some champagne so it did have a nice ending...I just wish my sweet husband was there. Ironically, as I write this...it's his birthday today, April 6th...cue the fireworks!
The departing lunch was bittersweet. We had some fun, we had some rough times...I'd like to believe that all of this is fixable. Dubai is an interesting, beautiful place. I'd tell anyone who has the chance to go, go.
Go everywhere you can, see as much of the world as possible. Every year try to go one new place, even if it's just a couple hours drive from home.
As always, ending on a positive note:
All of the bickering will eventually be a faded memory and the memories we will carry forward will be that we worked through it because a good heart forgives.
Until next week,
Love,
Kathryn
