Lisa Rinna: It Pushed a Button in Me

Hi! Just back from a week in London. Had the most fabulous time! I feel so blessed that I get to travel. It's a dream come true to sell my QVC Lisa Rinna collection in the US and in London.

Harry Hamlin and I are also celebrating our 19-year anniversary today. What an amazing and beautiful journey it has been since we said “I do” on March 29, 1997. I feel so blessed to have him by my side.

OK, so watching this week’s episode, which we filmed six months ago, really made me think I need to make some things a little more clear. There are double standards going on all over the place, and I'm just going to set the record straight right here, right now.

1. I never said Yolanda had Munchausen. I said I took part in conversation about the M word, and I felt badly about being a part of it. I then went to Yolanda and told her about the conversation and apologized. It should have ended there. This whole situation is not black and white, it's very gray, and yes, there were speculations, questions and concerns among all of us. LVP and Kyle certainly played their part in questioning Yolanda's illness and the motives for her Instagram posts, and I felt once I said Munchausen they both back-tracked and let me just take all the sh-- for it, which I did. And I own that. But that’s all it was, a conversation. Not a diagnosis or a label as none of us is a doctor.

2. Before I ever brought up the M word, LVP and Kyle were both questioning Yolanda's illness, her Instagram posts, whether it really was Lyme or if it could possibly be fibromyalgia, depression, menopause...or possibly something triggered by a terrible event, much like Kyle’s symptoms after her mother died.

3. OK, I used the word "enraged." Big deal! I was mad, pissed off and frustrated that Yolanda was getting a pass every time she decided to not show up at an event or a dinner or some other gathering that the rest of us rearranged our lives for. She chose to spend that afternoon with Brandi and Kim instead of showing up for her good friend Erika's introductory dinner party. I thought it was bullsh--, and even though Erika said she didn't mind, it pissed me off. It pushed a button in me and let loose the "rage" Kraken! It was more "frustrage" than "outrage" or outright rage, but let's remember a few other words and phrases that have been used this year: I will ANNIHILATE her; why did you let that ORANGUTAN out of her cage; F---ING C---; F---ING B*TCH; I could say she is BI-POLAR but I never would; the very popular C---Y and C--- but my favorite is...I've got a lot in my VAULT, honey!

4. So zip it about the word enraged and it being a big word already.

5. The whole conversation between Erika Jayne and myself on the beach in Dubai was just an awkward moment. I knew I had to finally address the LVP pink elephant in the room and instead, I got into some weird convo with Erika. Let me set the record straight: Yes, I posed for Playboy twice. Yes, I have seen porn. For me, I just didn't expect that my introduction to our newest girlfriend would be a video like the one I found online when I Googled Erika Jane. When I first saw the video "Painkillr," I was with Harry and my teenage girls at our cabin in Canada. The video is definitely R-rated, we all blushed and it wasn’t appropriate for a 14-year-old. It was shocking because it took us by surprise and, if you've seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about. If I had been alone, I would not have had the reaction I had, and I’m sure my first impression would have been different. I think her videos are beautiful and she is fabulous. End of story. Let's move on. More power to you, Erika Jayne. Do your thang, baby.

6. By the way, remember when Kyle and LVP googled my Playboys last season? They laughed and Kyle had to hide her face with her hair, she was so embarrassed. I'm sure they wouldn't have wanted to be looking at the Playboys with their young kids! Again, judgement! And we all are guilty of it.

7. I think Erika Jayne was so right when she said, "We are here now. Be here with us. Kim and Brandi are gone. We are here, be here with us, give US a chance.” Those were very wise words that I respect and appreciated.

8. I may have gone too far with Eileen on the beach. I admit that it was in the heat of the moment, but boy did it feel good to release it and free myself!

9. Eileen has been pushy about me talking to LVP to her face. Maybe rightfully so, but maybe not. I have been reluctant to get on the LVP manipulation train, and I have been one of the last holdouts. Until something happens directly to me, I always give that person the benefit of the doubt, and I did that here with LVP. Until I didn't because she did it to me. Game changer.

10. Everyone from Camille, Adrienne, Taylor, Kyle, Kim, Brandi, Eileen, Erika, and Yolanda has said very strong things about LVP being manipulative. Calling her Bobby Fischer, a puppet master, that she pits people against one another, etc. We have seen it all played out here for six years, and if I were LVP, I think I would take a look at myself and ask why are all of these women saying this about me? What part do I play in all of this? What is my responsibility in all of this? Wouldn't you look deep within yourself and take some sort of responsibility for an issue that continues to rise to the surface again and again?

The whole LVP story is all very she said/she said, and it's very confusing to watch, I know, so let me see if I can break it down really simply:

LVP did come out after me when I left her house after the Munchausen convo and she said, "Why didn't you bring Kyle into it?"

I thought that was so odd.

According to Kyle, LVP went back in the house, ran upstairs and said to Kyle, "Whew, I thought Rinna was going to bring YOU into it!"

Now why would LVP do that? Why would she want Kyle involved in the Munchausen convo?

I'm going to leave it up to you, the audience, to figure that out.

What went down in Dubai was a long time coming. I would much rather have had a great time playing in Dubai. In the long run, I don’t care about any of this nonsense, but after traveling 17 hours, going non-stop, we had reached our boiling point and this had to be addressed.

Now, if you notice LVP’s demeanor in Dubai, she is rather passive. She plays the "poor me" victim very well. Well you’re only the victim if you want to be, and that is strictly your choice. I think if you watch her and her body language, it says it all. She's conveniently having trouble remembering what really happened, and she will never admit to it. Never. That's just how she rolls.

Now let’s set the origination of Munchausen record straight:

I had a conversation with Faye Woods. Faye has colored my hair for 15 years, she has a private salon at her house and we were chit chatting like you do with your hairdresser. She said that she has a friend that she believes has Munchausen and has had it for 30 years. In her opinion, she thought Yolanda's symptoms seemed similar.

It was a conversation and just that. A conversation. The rest has taken on a life of its own.

More fun in Dubai next week. See you all there!

XOLR