Welcome back, Bravophiles!
This week we’re at Villa Rosa for Lisa Vanderpump’s ladies’ lunch. So many animals, which I’m sure are all lovely, but you know I went straight to the miniature horses! Some of you were probably surprised I didn’t hop on one and jump over Giggy, Hanky and Panky. I have self-control. It was so sweet of Lisa to offer an invitation to bring my daughter, Slate, back at some point. As we tour the house, Lisa is shocked I don’t have the big closet at my home. Believe me, you don’t need much room for a bunch of sports bras and a few rompers. I wasn’t lying when I said I was jealous of Villa Rosa, and I really wouldn’t mind living there, but not if it’s for Lisa’s next spin-off, Vanderpump Relations.
During lunch, we again talk about everybody’s favorite subject: horses. Just kidding, it’s Lisa Rinna! I get the history here, but man, where is Idina Menzel when you need her. At this point I’m starting to get the niggling feeling that Dorit is never going to let it go. I like her but damn if the smack talking doesn’t become exhausting. Apparently it’s boring that I’m okay with everybody at this point, but I think I’d rather be boring than talking just to hear myself talk. In the end, am I foreshadowing when I declare that I’m sure one of these women will turn on me soon enough? I think I was kidding, but isn’t there always some truth to every joke...
Being outdoors and active is very important to me and Edwin and something we want our kids to love as well. I want them hanging with us, not sitting around watching an iCrack! I also want to give them as much time as a family together as I can, since both of us work, and the kids are in a bunch of different activities. Plus, Edwin and I can show that a little competition is healthy—as long as Mommy wins!
Kyle really pulled it together despite the setbacks; I can barely host a party with power. Everything was gorgeous perfection. I’m getting more and more comfortable around the women, but I still like to watch and observe their different relationships and chemistries. Camille is a brave one for bringing her boyfriend, David, to meet us all at once. He is very sweet—and patient as one can be when Dorit screams that Camille is a fucking c--- (never thought I’d be typing those words). It’s a lot to digest when Dorit gets like this, and you can see me actually choke on my sea bass.
Until next week, I’ll be reading Rinnavation! You’re welcome, Edwin.
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Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave: Isn't There Always Some Truth to Every Joke?
Welcome back, Bravophiles!