Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave: "But Wait, There’s More Hypocri-tea!"

A BLIZZARD OF A STORY

I know some fans are confused, upset, or tired of this dog mess. I do apologize for my part in all of it. I should have come clean with the entire group of women the first chance I had (I did tell Kyle everything and show her all the texts in the Bahamas). I should’ve shared all of the information up front. I did not, I regret that, and I apologize. I do want to stress that I was fed an original lie of a story that was so upsetting, and that is partly why I didn’t come clean, because I knew I would have to tell it. That said, I will continue to keep telling my side as long as LVP continues to lie. That’s the issue that remains. I know and acknowledge all the wrongs I’ve done. She will not.

HE SAYS, SHE SAYS, WHAT DOES THAT SAY

Before we begin, to clarify, there are two Johns:

John Sessa - LVP’s partner at Vanderpump Dogs. John Blizzard - LVP’s employee at Vanderpump Dogs. So LVP has John Blizzard come to her home (how she got in contact with him since she doesn’t “have any communication with John Blizzard, ever. I don’t even have his phone number” as she said verbatim last week, remains a mystery) to prompt him to lie for her, oops, I mean set the record straight.

1. LVP to Blizzard re: Ken and Sessa’s fight: “You heard about that.” How does LVP know Blizzard heard about the Ken and Sessa fight? Why would she even care if Blizzard had heard about it? She has 10,000,000 employees. Funny that she would specifically know that Blizzard had heard about the fight, especially when she lets us know how much she barely knows him, never speaks to him. Wait, maybe Ken gave her Blizzard’s number since he had been calling him about it.
2. Blizzard to LVP: “I put words in your mouth that were not true, and I own that.” So here Blizzard “owns” saying to me that LVP instructed him to tell me about the dog. But just last week Blizzard and LVP were trying to spin this text that he was saying “idk” to me asking that Lisa told him to tell me. Strange how that works.
   
3. Blizzard to LVP: “Everyone was so frustrated this is being flipped onto you.” Huh, not what he was texting me.
   

Next on RHOBH: An Engagement and a Setup

1. LVP to Blizzard: “I don’t care if you tell Donald Trump.” So LVP isn’t worried that Blizzard told me, just that he told me she wanted him to tell me. But back in the Bahamas, she agreed with Denise that Blizzard never should have said anything, period. So, which is it? And why doesn’t LVP even seem upset at Blizzard at all? Also, she and Ken printed all of those texts. Why isn’t Lisa bringing those up if everything Blizzard told me was made up? Oh, right, it’s because the only thing LVP wants to focus on is that Blizzard left a trail that leads to her and covers that up.

But wait, there’s more hypocri-tea!

LVP shows Dorit and Kyle (again and again) the one part of the novel Ken’s printed for her about me saying to bring the dog out.

1. LVP: “I didn’t know Teddi knew at the time.” But then she admits (again) she told Dorit I knew. Huh? So you did know or you didn’t know?
2. LVP: “John Sessa had no idea that John Blizzard and Teddi were interacting.” and “I’ve never spoken to John Blizzard.” But in her blog last week she says, “Dr. John Sessa replied that John Blizzard had already told Teddi. He was often in contact with her and a gossipy text had been sent, which I witnessed later.” Hmm. So she didn’t know that I knew but then told Dorit that I knew but never spoke to John Blizzard but also John Sessa had no idea Blizzard and I were talking, so how did she know that I knew, oh wait, dahling, let me read this text about Teddi saying to bring out the dog again to deflect.

Let’s talk about LVP’s blog for a sec— LVP brings up Blizzard’s age multiple times in her blog as if a 23-year-old doesn’t know right from wrong. The same 23-year-old she trusts to work for her at a business that means everything to her. She also insinuates in her blog that I should have called and talked to her. That works both ways, LVP. LVP keeps saying she was trying to protect Dorit— but if she knew I knew, and knew I was coming, and both Johns were filming, shouldn’t she have texted or called me to make sure I didn’t say anything?

Also, in her blog, LVP says about filming that day at Vanderpump Dogs, “I was told that they (me and Kyle) were there for grooming and Instagram pictures.” But in a recent interview, John Sessa says LVP texted him to “shut this down” 15 minutes before filming. Shut what down? If there wasn’t a plan, what would need to be shut down?

LVP may love to serve tea, but she really doesn’t like when it’s spilled.

So enough about that. There were so many other great things happening in this episode.

MPX Video: [P] Kyle Richards Takes Her Daughter Sophia to College (10958942)

I think any parent can relate and feel the angst Kyle is feeling saying goodbye to Sophia. Her love for her daughters and family is palpable and I got a bit teary-eyed watching her say goodbye.

Seeing Denise talk about how she’s found happiness with Aaron is heartwarming. Seeing them talk about planning a wedding in 10 days gives me anxiety. 

Rinna is right— she looks absolutely amazing and killed that photoshoot. She really does know how to work a hose.

You didn’t think we go too long without some horses, did you? It was nice to sit with Dorit and Erika and just talk about wifey-things— you know, like how to pacify your husband in three easy steps.

Was great to finally see Erika’s house. The grounds are beautiful. I open up a bit to Erika that I was originally involved in the whole dog scheme. She gives me good advice. It’s not lost on me that we ended up talking in her chapel. I’m not sure if that absolved me of my sins, though!

Until next week. XO Teddi