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OK, I'm cutting to the chase. Let's see what all LeeAnne Locken has to say about me and my husband this week:
-"The problem is ALWAYS Cary." Hmmm. Seems unlikely, but I'm open to self-improvement.
-"Mark has a chop shop." Attack our business.
-"Mark gets his d--- sucked at The Roundup." Attacking my husband/best friend with insulting allegations.
-"Anyone who comes to Dallas is going to hear what I hear." Is it somewhere in the Dallas brochure?
-"Is he gay? Is he straight? Is he bisexual? Does he have a separate closet with women's clothes? I don't care." If you didn't care, sweetie, you wouldn't talk about it nonstop. Try taking our names out of your mouth and see how nice it actually can be.
-"It would be awesome to be the next bisexual couple on The Real Housewives." If we were, we would be, but we are not — sorry to disappoint. This is the most backhanded B.S. I've ever heard! Ugh, aren't you tired of talking about us? I talked about Rich once, and it was awful. I felt bad trying her style once, but she still has energy to come for the Deubers? Boring.
-"I don't laugh or say a joke about something that is hurtful or mean or ugly. I f---ing own it and I apologize for it." Yes, you own it, and own it, and own it…but you never stop. What does "owning it" even mean if you continue to spread lies manufactured to suit you and your cause, offer me a backhanded apology, and continue? What is your cause? Trying to hurt my husband, our business, and our family? And you do laugh and joke about hurtful, ugly things. We can all see you in your confessionals and at the honest-tea reacting to anything related to me and my husband. I'm sarcastic and dry, but I don't fake nice like "I've changed" when in reality, it's more of the same old ways.
I apologized to LeeAnne's face in less than 24 hours for the tiny weiner comment. LeeAnne spun it and complained about repetitively apologizing and not getting fair credit for her apologies, but that's because she repeats the same behavior over and over. It's like I said in my confessional: "You wouldn't have to keep apologizing for s--- if you didn't keep doing s---!" I went low and got in the dirt, playing LeeAnne's game of low blows at spouses, and I felt horrible about it. I still do. It is wrong to take out your frustration with one person on their partner (whether you're making a bad joke or not). It's all wrong! And I felt like s--- after doing that to Rich. But she has been talking about my man for two years and has no real remorse! Aren't you tired? I sure am after going low about Rich! Aren't you tired after steadily talking about Mark, fake apology after fake apology? Take a nap, girl. I'm learning that when it comes to LeeAnne, this B.S. about "owning" your s--- really only means that you claim it and agree that you did it. That's not enough! Admit that it was wrong, and Don't. Keep. Doing. It. Again. Simple! I thought we learned this as kids!
All in all, this trip was very hard for me. I do have to thank Kameron Westcott for her support and love. She saw how badly I was hurting and was there for me. Kam was a trooper and reminded me why everyone loves Elle Woods. Especially when she said, "They can suck it." Still laughing my ass off!
Another trip full of laughter, tears, and weiners. What will they come up with next?
Catch a sneak peek at the next episode of #RHOD below: