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To begin, let me pull out my "Beauty Guru" soapbox for one second...a box FULL of Hard Night Good Morning skin care. Some of these ladies…not pointing any fingers, have broken a cardinal rule! They slept in their makeup from the night before. Have I taught you girls nothing?! Take note...this causes aging! Do better ladies, DO BETTER!
Now, on to the episode! Let me tell you, I was SO excited to be out of that cave and away from the dinner table drama that I was made to tolerate, EVEN if it meant going out to a tequila bar with Stephanie Hollman and Brandi Redmond. LeeAnne Locken and I always have fun wherever we go, but I was pleasantly surprised that I had a complete BLAST dancing on the bar with Stephanie and Brandi and sampling the owner’s tequila cocktail concoctions!
The whole trip had been drama and fight after fight. I was in desperate need of some good old- fashioned fun! I really enjoyed getting to laugh, do some MORE tequila shots and hang out with the three girls, and let loose! Don’t get me wrong, I love a night in with face masks and lounging like Kameron Westcott andCary Deuber were doing, but after that stressful dinner, I needed an escape!
Fast forward to the morning after...it is humorous that the "older" lady, woke up fresh-faced and in my own bed. Down the hall in the Presidential Suite, the youngsters woke up in a zombie-like state with full faces of makeup in ONE of their TWO beds? I WAS drafted to wash my bestie’s back since she was recovering from her boob job, but I thought the bed thing was a little odd since they had two queen beds in their room. The irony lies with the fact that this OLD LADY can handle a night out of drinking and dancing better than most, and I was washing my face before bed 10 years ago! These two better watch out, or they will be looking in the mirror to 48 faster than they can say FACELIFT! Being old aside, I did really enjoy the night out.
Since the tension of the trip was getting to us all, I decided it was time to switch to "CEO D'Andra Simmons" mode and go full "ropes course" action on these ladies. Unfortunately, we were in Mexico and I had to make do with what we had access to at the beach. Thanks to the amazing staff at the resort, I was able to plan out a multiple stage obstacle course. Sadly, I knew that the only way that this would work or do any good, was to FORCE the ladies to break into teams of two…. teams of two that were basically their worst nightmares. I coupled LeeAnne and Cary, Kam and Brandi, and last and least drama of all, Stephanie and me. Even more sadly, I am not the best athlete, but at least I admit to it. I have other talents! So, before the other girls can make fun of me for that, I am happy to do it myself! Kam says she was a nerd, well I’m the REAL nerd, because while other kids were outside playing, I was reading books and doing crosswords with my dad and grandmother in East Texas.
I truly thought that the bonding and WINNING between “Big Bird” and “Elmo” was leading to a truce between them. That was obviously wishful thinking. Moving to the yacht, we see that nothing has changed. Overall, I really do think that this was an enjoyable bonding moment for the six of us that we REALLY needed! We may not always get along, but it is encouraging to know we can work together when we have to in case we have to do a HOUSEWIVES SURVIVOR full-cast show in the future!
Later on, we see that Brandi and Stephanie are up to their old shenanigans. Stephanie really hit the nail on the head with her impersonation of me ha, ha…I loved it! Seeing her handle “Brandi-LeeAnne” like I do was hysterical. I like that she has been taking notes! I think they went a little too far with having Brandi say, “I’m a really big deal”, when she was portraying LeeAnne. I did think it was seriously good TV to watch these two impersonate us! On another note, am I pleased they went through our room? No. And I was very surprised that they were allowed to do it. Of course, these two would go to any extremes to locate and abduct "sexual chocolate" to cause yet another scene. Like Brandi said, she needed to harass Kam ONE MORE TIME. Why? I do not know, other than that she had ZERO intention of trying to have a civil relationship with Kam.
Here we go again, on another amazing adventure, and this time its boating! Let’s make sure to ruin it with nonsense and drama as per usual as soon as everyone gets liquored up! Not one to shy away from the truth, I needed to clear the air and hear this vicious rumor that Cary had been spreading around about Rich. I honestly was concerned, as it was the elephant in the room that had only been spoken of in closed circles. I didn’t know what to expect. The drama twins had made it sound TERRIBLE!
Cary lets the cat out of the bag and sure enough it’s MORE childish gossip, this time about Rich’s manhood. What grown woman thinks it’s funny to make up a rumor about someone’s penis size out of nowhere, especially a woman who THROWS A FIT when her husband is gossiped about! Like LeeAnne said last episode, the other girls can get away with anything and sweep it under the rug, while she gets ROASTED for any indiscretion. Why was it so casually dismissed that Cary was trying to stir up the drama? Quoting Cary from Episode 1, “Coming in HOT, like a missile”, she was doing the same, yet LeeAnne gets dragged through the coals once again? Riddle me that!
Brandi was right. They both need to “own up” to what they said and work it out. Can we be over this “He said, She said” NONSENSE and enjoy our boat ride?! Probably not. The fighting continues, and of course, tears are shed. Imagine that. Do I hear both sides? Yes. Was LeeAnne wrong passing on what she heard about Mark? Yes. Am I picking a side? No. Why? Because both ladies were at fault on many levels and they both know it.
No drama-filled boat ride would be complete without an encore appearance from "sexual chocolate." Brandi was FOR SURE out of line bullying Kameron again. She is hyper aware that Kam isn’t comfortable with the dildo. A friend would accept that and leave Kam alone. I’m disappointed in Brandi for NOT being a better friend to Kameron, especially after the team building exercise on the beach. LEAVE HER ALONE!
I am thankful Kameron stormed off the yacht, as it gave me an excuse to leave this sinking FRIENDship before it capsized. Kam has reached her breaking point. She is done. She has NO urge to be friends with Brandi or Stephanie. They pushed her too far. I truly feel for her, as she was constantly berated this entire trip. I loved when she put aside her penchant for manners and exclaimed, “She can suck it!”. I just fell over laughing when she said that! Amazing! I AM SO PROUD OF MY GIRL! I knew she had it in her. Until the next tequila bar! SALUD!
Bezos y Abrazos,
For a sneak peek at next week's episode, watch now: