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D'Andra Simmons: My Mom Was Right, She Is All I Have and I Am All She Has
"She is my only living parent and fighting with her was destroying me."
This was a jam-packed episode! Everyone was at a turning point in their lives and we were all trying to figure out how to manage everything and maintain our composure. First of all, can we talk about Mama Dee’s confessional look?! ICONIC. Kameron Westcott would be put to shame on her pink game over that look.
Speaking of her confessional, hearing my mom say that her relationship with me is more important than the company is everything that I have EVER wanted to hear. My mom was right, she is all I have and I am all she has. She is my only living parent and fighting with her was destroying me. My mom has been my best friend for my entire life and my business partner for a large part of my professional life, so for her to finally let me know that she not only trusts me with the company but also loves me either way, that is all I could really ask for.
I will admit, I was skeptical to fully accept that she was going to hand over the keys. After all, she did that once before, so I am a little skittish, but here we are again. Regardless of that doubt, I was still thrilled in that moment to have my mom back in my life after an entire month of silence...no matter what was coming next.
Speaking of silence, there was another person in my life who I needed to work some things out with. LeeAnne and I had not spoken since the pop-up shop, and it did feel a bit strange. It made me a little emotional to hear LeeAnne say that she felt her heart was cracking over our strained friendship, and that she wasn’t sure if I even wanted to help her with wedding plans. She was my maid of honor at my wedding, and I always thought I would be hers, too. When you have been friends as long as she and I have, you are bound to have ups and downs, however, I am beginning to wonder when we will go up again.
I felt pretty uneasy when I saw LeeAnne at the dog painting party. I had been ignoring her calls and texts because I needed time to think and reflect on what happened between us at the smash party and during our conversation at the pop-up shop. I was not nearly as upset about her sharing my business and financial problems with Cary anymore, but that little chip in my trust was still there. It was all about her betrayal of me and the nefarious purpose behind that action. It’s not necessarily that I wanted to ignore LeeAnne at the event, but I did not want to get pulled into a conversation with everyone there and feel forced to come to some sort of resolution the way I did at the smash party as well as the pop-up shop. I wasn’t truly over what she did to me. It is a matter of principal. I know LeeAnne, and she did what she did to me to hurt me and NOT to help me, that is why I need more time to recover from her betrayal. This is not some small mistake, this was an egregious action on her part that has consequences for our friendship.
I could tell LeeAnne was trying to get some sort of response out of me by talking about her lunch plans with Kameron and Stephanie, but I am happy for her new friendships and I am glad that she is able to make those connections. After all, I put Stephanie and LeeAnne together at my anniversary party so that she could have the opportunity to cultivate a relationship with her, and it seems like they bonded! I have always wanted the best for LeeAnne and would love to see her form stronger friendships on her own with the rest of the group, I just wish she wouldn’t throw me under the bus while doing so. Maybe LeeAnne and Cary can form a league!
Finally, after the dog painting event, I felt that I had given LeeAnne the cold shoulder for long enough and that we should try and talk things out privately if we were actually going to get anywhere in our friendship. Truthfully, I had been missing her and was ready to move on, but she was going to have to be honest with me and take down the wall between us. The more I thought about what had happened in our relationship, it became clear to me that the root of this whole whirlwind drama began in Beaver Creek when I questioned LeeAnne about whether or not she was going to start planning the wedding. I realize that I could have been a little less aggressive, but I really did just want to know where it was all heading so that I could help her in whatever way she needed.
I think that questioning LeeAnne so vigorously led her to deflect that spotlight from her and Rich dragging their feet, to me and my problems with my mom and my company. Realizing that made me want to have a more private conversation with a little more compassion because I know better than anyone how stressful and even a little embarrassing it can feel to have any kind of doubt in your relationship.
LeeAnne didn’t offer up any explanation for me about the delay other than shrugs and eye-rolls. Therefore, when I asked about the wedding date again, I just asked the first thing that came to mind...is there someone else? I know that you don’t have to spend every second with your significant other. Jeremy and I go weeks without seeing each other because of our busy travel schedules, but when he is in town he will go to any gala, charity, party or dinner if it means I am there! My husband is a different breed, and I get that not everyone is like us, but I do see Rich and LeeAnne apart more often than together, and that raises a red flag.
So that led me to the most uncomfortable question to ask anyone, friend or not! I have heard rumors about Rich and his relationships with other women. Whether or not those rumors are true, I do not know, but the fact that LeeAnne couldn’t even make eye contact with me and was nowhere near answering my question, tells me a lot.
When I was with my ex-fiancé who was having affairs on the side, a few women, LeeAnne being one of them, came to me and told me what they had seen and heard about him. They gave me the facts and allowed me to make an intelligent decision and do some fact-finding of my own. This led me to break off the relationship with him. THANK GOD for that! If I had stayed in that relationship I would never have met my wonderful husband, Jeremy. If LeeAnne would do that for me out of care and concern, I owe it to her to do the same thing for her, so she can weigh all of the factors and make the right decision for her life. Notice, I did NOT go to anyone else in our group of friends to report this information. I have kept it between us. That is what a REAL friend does. LeeAnne did not give me that same respect when she went to Cary about my finances. My intentions are pure and my concern is real, but it is only for her to know. If she wants to share this conversation with the other ladies then it is her prerogative, but not mine.
LeeAnne and I have always been very close and I only want her to be happy, but if she won’t be honest with me, someone who she claims is like a sister, then I am not sure where to go from there.
I suppose you will have to keep watching and we will all find out the truth together.