We begin the season with this Texts from Hillary-esque shot of Lea as she picks up Joanna from a private plane. (Ahh, the Miami lifestyle!) But Lea's focus quickly shifts from texts to her beautiful, blond BFF and the latest scandal: evidently Adriana's already married to Frederic. What?! The question on everyone's mind now is how Elsa didn't predict this. And also why Adriana never mentioned that to anyone before.

Joanna gets surprised by Romain and receives the keys to a brand new Jag. At this point we all poured ourselves a big cup of wine and cried a little bit on the inside about the fact that we are not Joanna Krupa.

But then we were introduced to Nancy, Alexia's mom, and everything immediately got better. Seriously, why are Miami moms so captivating? Nancy's a psychiatrist who's been living in Madrid and was married four times. You know this woman's got some good stories. She's here to help out Alexia with her boys, and after hearing about her love of disco and theories on the castration complex, it's pretty clear we need more Nancy in our lives.

We couldn't agree with Marysol more.

After the dramatic "Silencio!" followed by the news about Elsa's accident, the ladies were able to put aside their issues and focus on what was important: cocktails! And peace! Even Joanna and Adriana couldn't help but make up.

Flashback to Adriana ripping Frederic a new one after the story leaks that they're married. It was one seriously telenovela-y battle, but the most memorable moment by far was Frederic's impersonation of Lea, which involved him using a giant piece of plywood as a purse.

Adriana faced the first wave of 'Wives and gave her side of the marriage story at (very fittingly) a bridal expo. Evidently she got the marriage license but then called off all wedding preparations because her son wasn't ready to deal with her and Frederic's very new (they were only dating for a week!) relationship. Also we learn that Adriana was the only one who came to Lisa's birthday party... New BFF alert!

Lea's redecorating her home, so you know this is going to be one over-the-top fabulous affair. Enter two over-the-top fabulous designers. The craziest moment of their design session however was when we learned that Lea's been keeping artwork in Freda's closet. She has so much art, that even the closets in the house are decorated with it. (P.S. Sorry Roy, guess the cat's out of the bag now that this is going to be one expensive makeover.)

Uh-oh, sounds like Joanna hasn't been putting in enough friend time with Lisa. Hopefully that playful punching doesn't turn into actual punching later in the season. But hey, things can't be that bad if they can compliment each other's clothing, right?

It must have been pretty disappointing for Lisa that Lea didn't show up, given the point of the luncheon was to get Adriana and Lea together. But that didn't stop arguments from breaking out: Joanna took Lea's side over Adriana's wedding scandal, Adriana called out Lea for taking Joanna's side after the slap incident of last season, and everyone started talking all at once.