Where does one begin with this episode? Oh wait, I know, how about with THE BROOM THAT STOLE THE WHOLE SHOW! See below in the bottom right corner:
(Apologies I don't have a better glamor shot of my new favorite cast member, but Hurricane Sandy has severely limited my capabilities here.)
So yeah, yeah, yeah, there was a big fight between Adriana and Joanna, someone may have been slapped, whatever. The real star of that scene was this red broom. Why? Because what was it doing there? Who was this man wielding the broom as if it could stop the impending clash of scantily clad ladies? I wish I had the answers. If that broom could talk, the things it would tell us -- the difficult position it was quite literally put in, how mortified it was to be a part of such a savage display. She's not that kind of broom!
Take a minute to relive the broom's big break.
Prediction: Next week, that red broom's going to have a lot to say at Lea's gala.Besides the broom, the other star of the evening was Joanna's banana.
Much like the broom, where did this banana come from? Did Romain give it to her in an attempt to have something in her stomach to soak up all the vodka? Were here potassium levels dangerously low? Again, not sure. But luckily no one slipped on the banana peel, which may or may not be thanks to our friend the red broom.
Prediction: More fruit consumption before fights.Besides the broom and banana, there were the final inescapable items of the evening -- nipples. Seriously, there were blurred nips in every scene. I can only imagine there was a shortage of double-sided tape in Miami that week, because not one bra stayed in place that evening. What I've learned from this is that it's incredibly difficult to take anything seriously -- whether it be a fight or trash talking -- when the participants have blurred nipples. Thank God for those blurred nipples though, because they provided some much needed humor to the over-the-top chaos.
Prediction: More nudity to come this season, because clearly these girls aren't overly concerned about (or cognizant of) nip slips.
There's more I could talk about (the pool push, Lisa's freak out about the ruined DJ equipment, the fact that everyone seemed completely unfazed and chatted it up together on the couch afterward), but I think I've summed up the salient points: brooms, bananas, and nipples. Plus I have to go tape my windows to prepare for the impending hurricane in NYC.
Until next week! Get ready for some serious fallout. (Seriously, you may need a hazmat suit.)