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Lisa's Low-Blow Remarks

Lea wonders how she should interpret Lisa's biting comments.

By Lea Black


It's party time! Galas and fundraisers, more tits and ass, drama, conflict, he said/she said, they said, and more.

But don't put your stilettos up on the couch just yet. This party is just getting started.
This was a busy time for me between the gala preparation, out of town guests, Roy being gone, our commuting and his return home, RJ's activities, and my abnormal-normal life -- it was fast, fun and full of surprises.

Let's start with Lisa's charity event, the one where I looked "hilarious."
It's amazing how close to naked people will get at a Miami party, but when it comes to stripping people down to who they really are, it's one big sh--storm...uh, snowstorm.

Congrats to Lisa for a fun party, action packed (maybe too much action, but let's come back to that later). Hope she raised a lot of money. I'm just trying to understand a couple of things, so help me out here. I recall Lisa being very clear that she "doesn't agree with people talking about people behind their backs." From the first episode until now (7 weeks), she's never missed the opportunity to ridicule, backstab, or make condescending remarks about me on the show and in her blogs.

BTW, my "hilarious" comment (made while hugging her) was a compliment about how over-the-top fabulous her lingerie outfit was. (Clarification since she seems to misinterpret my snark -- Hilarious, of course, being the new fabulous.) And did I mention, once again, we get to see her hot body? Surprise! Even after my lovely phone conversation with her (in which at any time she could have told me anything she thought or felt directly to my face) she remarks her party "may not be up to Lea's standards." Maybe T and A aren't my strong suit, but I did make a financial contribution and I did go out on the eve of my gala (after which I then went back and worked until about 3 in the morning to make up for the break I took) all to show my support to Lisa and for a good cause. I am wondering how seriously I should take these low-blow remarks. So far I've laughed them off, but I wonder if Lisa will give me the same courtesy for pointing out a couple of contradictions.

Not every great friendship begins with peace, love, and kumbaya. Yes, we got off to a rocky start, but sometimes the best friendships are built on rocks, boulders, or in her case, silicone.

And let me also acknowledge Lenny for being a perfect host and gentleman in the midst of conflict and controversy. (And of course behind every great man is a great woman, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, their ass even matches their face (Lisa's description) or, in Lisa's case, both faces (my description).

Congrats, Joanna, for honoring PETA and looking good while doing it. You know how I am about animals. The loves of my life. Joanna's willing to take it all off for the animals -- the real ones, not those of the South Beach variety. I love her "doers vs. talkers" awareness. While she was "doing" her part for PETA, others were "talking the talk." Relevance, anyone?

Joanna's Controversial Anti-Fur Campaign
I started a charity about 18 years ago, and I am a big believer that we should all do whatever we can to make the world a better place. One of the reasons I signed onto this reality show was to bring awareness to causes that I think are important. I guess another reason is for a bit of comic relief.

Then we had Karent under attack again. Now that's "hilarious." Next.
Well next except for a couple of double standards. Some people, Marysol in particular, allege that they don't engage in gossip. Well that is unless it's about me with her protector, or gossiping about Karent poolside, or at a "bloomers" party, or not correcting false accusations she clearly knows are false -- "enabling" at its finest. She even gossips about charity volunteers. And of course the gossip about if a big blonde (Elaine Lancaster) should show up, she (Marysol) can't face up. Oh, the non-drama drama Marysol brings on herself. After all, what would a PR firm be without gossip, hearsay, and buzz?

As for Adriana, the blog she was referring to was published by Lesley Abravanel, a Miami Herald columnist, who tells it like she sees it. (Don't take it personally, girls.)

Karent says the article twisted her words -- reminds me of when Charles Barkley says a few ugly things about his teammates in his book then claimed he was misquoted. One journalist said, "But Charles, you wrote the book." Like the Housewives or not, Lesley's blog was the catalyst for, well, tune in next week for the ultimate Housewife addict’s "fix" maybe even "mainlining fix." Bombshells (both chocolate and vanilla and both with big personalities and star qualities) at their feistiest. Sunday night's episode may be an overdose if you are a true addict, a real Housewives addict that is. Is it me or is did things get a little sensitive?

Enter Joe Francis announcing (when asked) he "dated" both Marta and Joanna. Gotta love unfiltered Joe. Joanna's reaction (when the sex mention came up)? You're a jerk and deserve to go to jail. As friends of both (or should I say all three), who cares who dated whom or had sex with whom or didn't have sex with whom? And when? And where? (Movie theatres, anyone? Times have changed I guess.) Too much information. But Joanna, while protecting her reputation, forces Joe to defend his remarks. It made for firework heaven, and no permit was required by the city of Miami Beach. And did I mention Romain, once again, was the consummate gentleman.
Joe Francis Slept with Joanna and Marta?

And Marta -- giggle giggle. My translation: is there more to the story? Hmm. And does anyone care? Really? Ruffled (synthetic) "feathers" anyone? It was like watching Adults Gone Wild. If you wanted to know about their sex lives, you'd buy the DVDs. JUST KIDDING! THERE ARE NO DVDs! (That I know of! LOL!) Karent smiling too much -- that's her personality; big problem for some of the girls. Translation: some think she should just keep her mouth shut. Marysol's interpretation: "she is trying to be something she's not." My interpretation: she's an award-winning actress for putting on a (Colgate) smile while all the daggers continue to come out. Enough is enough. At least she has good teeth as well she should.

Adriana points out a Miami Herald Newspaper columnist, Lesley Abravanel, writes an article about the Miami Housewives and a comment about having Botox for brains. It became who said, who didn't say, she said, who said, all over again. Myth: no one ever takes things personally. My translation: the shoe didn't fit me, so I didn't put it on. But it is a funny analogy, Botox for brains that is, if you have a sense of humor. Adriana (super smart) may have a lot of things in her brain, but Botox isn't one of them. But she does have a hot temper (and a hot body too).
Karent's position was trying to say she was going to elevate the caliber of the stereotypical Housewife as a professional that rises above pettiness, or at least that was the author’s interpretation. You can read the article below and decide for yourself. But trust me, this situation escalates! Oh, the drama of the real life housewives.

Things to think about this week:

Should one kiss and tell?

Is smiling too much and being too friendly worth the backlash? And why a backlash anyway?

If you overhear something at a party, should you repeat it?

Does lingerie bring out the best or the worst in people? Or does it just reveal (both literally and figuratively) who we are? Maybe it just personifies who we are, add a drink or two, and maybe it just "screams" who we are?

If a columnist writes an article about a group you're a part of, should you take it personally if you don't (or do) think it applies?Is laughing more fun than gossiping, pouting, or stirring things up?

What is gossip anyway? We've been told some of these girls don't like gossip, so I'm trying to determine what's gossip and what's not. Maybe ridiculing and gossip are not the same? And talking behind someone’s back, what category does that fall in?

Can some dish it out but not take it? Just curious.

And what's the difference between watching and observing things happen versus creating and making things happen? Which one might be boring to watch?

Are some people looking for what's wrong rather than embracing what's not? Why would anyone do that? Curious.

Are double standards appropriate/acceptable?

The "blog" for your reading pleasure and to clarify any misunderstandings:

Spread the love and keep the peace and #don'tdealwithstupid.

By the way, many of you asked about the handbag I wore at the premiere, it’s my personal design at And if you watched Watch What Happens Live, callers mentioned my face looked “refreshed.” For all my beauty secrets, go to Enjoy!

P.S. Don’t forget to read my Huffington Post political blogs:

Tweet me @leablackmiami.
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