For many months I had been been really sad and beating myself up over the downfall of my friendship with Lea. However it was interesting last week when I watched her sister say, "As long as we did what she said, we all got along great." That statement really resonated with me, since this is exactly how I feel. Lea and I got along just fine all these years as long as I did exactly what she wanted me to say or do, but the minute I didn't speak on her behalf, she just turned on me. It felt really hurtful to see someone you loved as a sister just decide to punish you for what Ana said or did. I never really did anything to hurt her. But after listening to what her sister said, I understood that the problem is not with me but with her, since she likes to control people or else she will release her wrath on them... Like Lisa said, "She just likes to be the head bitch in charge all the time."
Those are her personal issues, and I'm not going to hold that against her, but I also will no longer blame myself for everything that went wrong between us. Nonetheless I apologized to her, since I felt really bad for not being transparent about my marriage. I know I'm far from perfect, but I wasn't doing anything to maliciously hurt her -- I was just protecting my son and doing the best I could under the circumstances. I felt really happy to see her open up and be willing to talk things out!
It was great to see all the girls act like adults and move on from the petty issues...
I'm in such good place in my life right now that I no longer want to dwell on negativity. I just want to forgive and forget and let love lead my life.
Many blessings to all!
Until next week!
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