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Hi everyone! Hope you are enjoying this season so far.
There are a lot of things to talk about this episode. I will start by talking about the most important thing to me, which is my family.
It’s really difficult to have to talk about something that happened 23 years ago. Something that stirs so many mixed emotions -- happiness, sadness, fear, shame, guilt. Something that no matter how much I tried to hide it, erase it, and forget about it still haunts me today. At the same time, it's uncomfortable to have to speak about my ex-husband, the biological father of my children, after we have been legally divorced for over 17 years. As you all know, I've been happily married to Herman for the last 13 years. Peter and Frankie have always lived with me and Herman. Basically my boys have been blessed with having two fathers in their lives.
I never talked about it with him because I felt ashamed. I never found the right moment in our lives. Furthermore, I wanted to protect him from that pain. I always wanted him to get to know his father as the loving person that he is and not pass judgment on him for the mistakes he made. Peter Jr. was only 3 months old when his father went into prison. His father was released 4 1/2 years later and returned home with us to be in Peter’s life again. A few months later I was pregnant with Frankie. This episode is just an introduction to my story... The story that I've wanted to shelter my boys from, but today I'm exposing and sharing it with all of you. So Peter and Frankie are spending a lot more time together these days. They spend lots of hours in the studio listening to music. We made a studio for them, because we know how important and therapeutic music is for Frankie. Frankie loved to rap/freestyle before the accident. Rap/hip hop was his passion, and I know that God will bless him again one day with that ability. He had amazing talent that I didn't even know about. Meanwhile, music seems to motivate him and his speech and language. Peter admits that his new found love for music is because of his brother. He also tells me that even though he was the older brother, he looked up to Frankie in so many ways. I'm hoping Peter will stick to this and turn it into a business. He needs to feel passionate about something to motivate him and get him out of the depression he's feeling. I feel that seeing his brother making progress every day will motivate him to want to do the same with his life. I myself have become a fan of hip hop! Anything to bring my boys together and our family.
Lea and I finally have lunch together. I haven't seen Lea or spoken to her since the reunion. I called and texted Lea after the reunion, but she never responded. She felt since I was friends with Ana I had something to do with it. At this point when we met, I was upset because she hadn't wanted to speak to me, and on top of that Adriana told me that Lea doesn't want to have anything to do with any of us. Adriana told me not to be naïve, and that Lea is not the nice person I think she is, because when Peter got in trouble with the homeless, she immediately called her to say nasty things about my son and me as a mother. Why shouldn't I believe Adriana now right? I told Lea when I saw her I'm upset with her because of what I'm hearing from Adriana. My heart doesn't want to believe this because Lea has been a friend, but foremost she's a mother and a charitable person who has an organization for the troubled youth. If Lea is a person who believes in giving second chances and rehabilitating adolescents, why would she say something so mean and hurtful about Peter? What is going on? What's behind this? I really don't want to believe Lea is trying to punish me, because I didn't stick up for her in the reunion. I wasn't even there when this all went down, remember?
I felt after our talk we were in a better place. Lea and I have always been good to each other and liked each other. I hope that doesn't change just because I'm friends with Marysol, Adriana, and Ana. That's not a good enough reason. I don't feel I have to pick sides. Why? There are two sides to every story, and then there's the truth. I'm not butting into this one. I have more important issues going on in my life and everyone knows that. Only Adriana and Lea can resolve their problems and move past this. I will continue to be a friend to both and listen to both of them for now.Until next week! Thanks for your love and support.
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