On Display

Hi everyone! So do we like the New Jersey Housewives on Sunday nights? As always I want to thank all of you who support me for your love. I've received so many emails lately, and I can't even explain the way you make me feel, thank you! 

Well here we go, here comes the singing! I still can't believe it's all happening. Music was my first love! I could remember being in elementary school and loving music class so much. I would make excuses to just walk back in the classroom, I would purposely forget things, I would bring the teacher cupcakes, anything I could do to go back. I will never forget my music teacher, Mrs. Orkfiz. She wrote in my sixth grade yearbook that she can't wait to see me on the cover of People Magazine. I still have it and will never forget she wrote that. I loved her! Okay, I can't believe I pronounced the word wrong in 'Amazing Grace,' one of my all time favorite songs. I swear I know the right word, why did wench come out? I think knowing I was going to sing in front of the cameras for the first time got me nervous. Did it have to be THAT word? I'm sooo embarrassed! Please forgive me for that. We were laughing for fifteen minutes straight when we saw it, I knew the press was going to have a field day with that! I guess you're going to start to see a more vulnerable side of me. This is a long and crazy journey you are about to take with me. I still get incredibly choked up every time I think about the music and my father. I can't believe he's not here to see it happening, but I know he's watching! I am so excited for everyone to hear me sing, that was just a little taste, but as the episodes go on there will be more and more. I've toyed with the idea for years, but I always want to put my family first, so it was hard for me to make the decision to go for it. At this point I'm scared, I'm afraid, and I don't know if I can do it. But if I don't try, how will I ever know? Did you see Antonia and Gino jumping around the room? They are so cute and innocent, I them so much! Antonia is my mini me, I see so much of me in her. They now know every word to 'On Display.' It's their favorite song!

The way Joe is supporting me is so untouchable. I know he loves me and I thank him everyday for what he does for me. I can't repay him with money, so I repay him by keeping his children immaculate, having dinner ready every night, having clean clothes for him everyday, and most importantly waiting on him. Since the day I married Joe, I have been waiting on him. He's always working, and I don't look to run out of the house or go shopping everyday or go out with my girlfriends. I give him the peace of mind that his wife is home and waiting on him. I don't know how to express the relationship that Joe and I have. It's hard to describe. I know there is no denying it, it's real, it's true. I know there are people that are going to try to break us down, and I know there are people who just don't understand it, and therefore they make nasty comments about it. Things like, "Melissa has a way of getting what she wants, do I f---ing need to spell it out." No, Teresa, please don't spell it out, we know exactly what you are insinuating. By now everyone should also know that these kinds of things could be the root of why Joe and Teresa have such a hard time getting along. That hurts him, he doesn't understand it. We don't understand how the way we live our life affects her. We would never do anything to hurt her, we both truly love Teresa, I mean that. We just can't understand her. We never throw our relationship in her face, we never give her a reason to give us such a hard time. She was there from the day we met and knows what we have. I like to think she is happy for her little brother for finding a wife he loves and knowing that I love him just as much. It's still so unclear to me why this bothers her. I don’t think I need to explain the way we treat her kids, I think it is clear as day. I'm trying really hard not to write in this blog what I think is so obvious in the episode. Besides, they say the best revenge is success. This I agree with. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

I'm so happy that Joe decided to call his sister and work things out. I knew Gia had a meet and knew it would be a great time to smooth things over and just be with his family. I knew he would not be able to say no to me if I told him it was for Gia. I suggested he call his sister and tell her he wants to come. I'm glad he listened to me. I am so proud of Gia, she loves gymnastics! Antonia loves to watch Gia, they go to the same gymnastics school, and Antonia gets so excited when she runs into her there. She always says, "Momma I love the way Gia does gymnastics." I tell her when she gets big she will be able to do all of those things too, just like her big cousin. That is what makes me weak through all of this, that's what makes me want to take anything they want to give me -- the kids, nothing else really matters. I want Joe and Teresa to see this, I want everyone to understand that we all need to forgive and forget, let the past be the past. It's time to get over it. It's time to move on. The time of the gymnastics meet did get confused, and Joe was a little off on it. You could see there was a lot of confusion when she told him the time on the phone, she changed the time twice and Gia said a different time. But once he got there you could see in his eyes and in Gia's that it didn't matter. What mattered was that we were all trying to be in the same place and putting in the effort to fix this. I loved to see Antonia and Miliana hug, they love each other so much!

I'm not going to deny it was a little uncomfortable and a little tense. I can't help but feel the vibes they were giving off. You could cut the tension with a knife, and it was very obvious. Maybe the problem isn't with Joey's wife, maybe it's with Teresa's husband? When the kids wanted to have a play date it broke my heart not to let them, but I knew that Teresa had a long day and needed to go get ready for her talk with her brother, they were meeting in one hour. I also knew that I wanted to be able to talk to Joe before he went to meet his sister and tell him to think positive and try really hard to work it out. I'm very protective of my children, and I didn't want them to pick up on what was going on. My daughter and my sons have no idea of this whole situation, and they never will as long as I can help it. That is their aunt and their uncle, and they will always respect them.

I want to address sweet Victoria. I love her so much. I have faith in knowing my daughter will always have a great big cousin in her. She really is exactly what you see. She's one of the most beautiful teenagers I've ever met, inside and out. I remember when she had the brain tumor. It was right when I first met Joe. We went to the hospital in NY to go see her, and we stayed there for hours. It was wonderful to see the whole family all come together and support this child. She is strong and she is confident. Thank God everything is great now with her health. I think it made her who she is today. I know that was a huge eye opener for Kathy and Rich, and life was never the same for them after that. They started to appreciate everything more and realize what really matters. It was around that time Kathy and I started to become very close. I love Kathy and her family! She means a lot to me, not only as my cousin, but as my best friend. The contracts were perfect! Kathy's face is priceless when Joey says he may have a drink on a Friday night, that was so Kathy! How cute is Joey Wakile? He is hilarious! Move over Albie Manzo! LOL!

Okay so now Ashley gets a car? Wow, she is one lucky girl! This girl is good! Chris seems like a pretty reasonable guy, so I'm assuming he has some kind of reason for this. Listen, Jacqueline, I think the way he spoils her is better than having a wicked step father, right? Not to sure on this one.

Caroline is doing radio! Yay! We all love to hear what she has to say. I like that she's not choosing to sit home and she is finding herself after her children start to leave the nest. I love the phone call Caroline and Jacqueline have as she's driving there. They have a great relationship! They are both on this show together as sister-in-laws, and they are making it work for them. No drama, just true family love! I love what they have.

At this point baby steps is all we can take to fixing this. We only have one life, she only has one brother, and he only has one sister. Fix this and stop letting the little things get in the way. I know at this point I'm going to have to take whatever they want to dish out to me, and I am willing to do it for my husband. After everything he does for me, it's the least I can do. I love him and this is not about me, don't get me wrong. I want to be respected, and I will never let anyone disrespect me, but I am willing to let things slide if that's what it's going to take.

The amazing singer I wrote my song with is Antony Bitar! He makes the most beautiful songs. You have to go to iTunes and download his most recent, it's called 'Butterflies.' It's an incredible song!

I can't wait for you to hear the rest of 'On Display.' I'm proud of it!

The boutique you saw me shop at this week is called Erez, it's in Englewood, N.J. Amy and Debra are so sweet and love their customers! They have the most beautiful clothes!

Check in with my website, http://www.melissagorga.co, follow me on Twitter @melissagorga, and on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/melissagorga.co.

I hope everyone has a magnifico giornata!

Xoxo

Melissa