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Episode 15: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor marvels at Joe Gorga's inability to turn down a dare.
No. 3 - If the RV's a Rockin'...
Chris Laurita's been very outspoken this season, and it's been illuminating and generally delightful. Up until now. You would have though the Manzo/Laurita RV would be the quietest and most family-friendly of the three. And that seemed to be the case given all the nudity/rampant boner flashing taking place in the other two RVs.
Cut to Chris and Jacqueline conversing with Caroline and Al. Just a normal chat until Jacqueline poses the question of who's having the most sex in the RV. Now I for one expected everyone to point to the Gorgas, Giudices, or Wakiles (again, just look back at all the nudity). But Chris Laurita, in a completely serious tone, proclaims that he and Jacqueline just had sex last night.
Cut to Jacqueline taking a big gulp of her wine.
Now this wouldn't even be so remarkable normally, but he says that to his sister. Who is sharing the RV with him. You could tell Caroline had no idea how to respond to that information. No one wants to hear about a sibling's sexcapades. Ever.
But he wouldn't even let it end there. He continued on about how loud Jacqueline is in bed and how her mother probably heard her from New Jersey. Aaah! Stop! Your sister, brother-in-law, and nephew are right there!
Melissa's not a big nature person. I think that was the biggest takeaway from the canoe debacle. She's meant to be poolside in her bedazzled bikini, not rowing down a river full of (GASP!) bugs and frogs.
Of course Joe couldn't resist the opportunity to take advantage of his wife's fear of the river creatures, so he tips the canoe over. Now yes, I think we all expected Melissa to scream and freak out. I don't think anyone expected her to scream for that long. The high-pitched shrieks of Melissa Gorga echoed throughout the great state of California for an uncomfortable number of minutes.
And a word about the shouting -- was she saying Joe repeatedly or was it just some unintelligible word? Perhaps it was a mix of the two. (I've certainly never heard Joe said at that octave before.)
We already know Joe Gorga will never under any circumstances turn down a dare. Ask that man to do anything and just lead with "I dare you to..." He will do it.
So of course when the Jersey crew is gathered round the campfire and looking to play truth or dare, Joe is the first participant. I doubt they would have even allowed Joe to select the truth option, but he goes with dare (to no one's surprise). So what does he have to do? Go to the neighbor's RV in his underwear and ask if they have any fruit. Not even a second passes after the dare has been uttered, and Joe Gorga has removed all of his clothing and is trotting over to the nearest RV on a mission for fruit.
Alas, this poor soul who was looking for some peace and serenity in the California wilderness is greeted to a nearly nude Joe Gorga. A nearly nude Joe Gorga asking him for fruit. What was running through this man's mind, I can hardly imagine. But just when you think he's going to shut the door, take a swig of his moonshine, and pretend this never happened, he says, "No, I got vegetables though."
So he offers Joe either mushrooms or some green bell peppers. Joe opts for the peppers and returns to the crew victorious. I can only hope Joe got that pepper bronzed and has it displayed proudly in his office.