Over It

The drama in Jersey never ends! I can't even believe all the things I saw and heard during this episode. To be honest with you, at this point I just couldn't take it anymore. I was about to shut down. I am going to be honest with you and tell you where my head was at this point.

Back it up to that make-up hug between Teresa and I, where all seemed so sincere. It was on my end. I finally felt at peace with us. I needed to feel that at that point in time. There were some things that happened afterward that made me question her sincerity, but I’m not even going to bring it up now.

The trip was nearly over, and I had a lot going on in my head at the time. Most of you have already heard the news that my youngest son, Nicholas, has been diagnosed with autism. This trip came at a time where it was all coming to a head. The entire cast and crew knew at this point that we were dealing with some serious issues with my son, but we just didn't have a label on it yet. The cast and crew, including Teresa (surprisingly), respected that until we got the diagnosis and a treatment plan in place for our son, we wanted to keep it private. At this point, it was a race to get him help and every step of the way was another waiting game. Waiting to get in to see different doctors, waiting for insurance, waiting for home therapy, putting a diet and supplement plan into place, researching and seeking out help, etc. It consumed me. The petty, redundant drama was like static in my ears or like nails on a chalkboard. I was SO OVER IT!

Caroline was not playing the game and may have come across a bit harsh at times. Caroline was being REAL while others were not. I, personally, couldn't take the fighting anymore. None of it mattered to me anymore.

When everyone started fighting, I felt like I had already said what I wanted to say to Teresa's  face. I had nothing left to say, so I chose to shut my eyes, stay out of it, and tune all the fighting out. I actually really did fall asleep in the end. I can sleep through just about anything. Apparently, Albert can too. LOL!

Caroline had been holding it all in for a while, so I think she needed to unload. I feel horrible that Caroline felt like she went to battle alone. She wasn't alone. I think after watching this season and reading my blogs, she has seen me speak up and tell the truth. I hope she found some peace in the end. Actually, I know she has. We are both doing great!

It amazes me how Teresa can look you in the face and lie the way she does. While Teresa was denying it all to the girls, her husband was about 10 feet away admitting the truth to the guys. The truth is Teresa DID have a relationship with In Touch, they DID pay her, she DID put out articles that weren't always true, and she DID answer all the questions for the content of the article! FINALLY the truth was told ON CAMERA! FINALLY!

I don't see why she just didn't admit to this in the first place. It was ridiculous and totally unnecessary. A simple, "Yes, I put those articles out there because not only did I need the money, but I really didn't like you guys at the time because of X,Y and Z!" Then everyone could have chosen to either accept it, forgive it, and move on or not! It was one thing for Teresa to fake these relationships on camera, but another to try to take the others down OFF camera. On top of that, she was publicly trying to put out there that we were involved with these articles that SHE was putting out there. Unbelievable! Caroline just wanted Teresa to be honest and to tell her how she really felt about her. We ALL knew the truth.

I can’t believe she’d think I’m jealous that she’s on the cover of those magazines. She KNOWS that I have always avoided them as much as possible. And WHY would I be jealous of Teresa's headlines of her being in bankruptcy, afraid of being poor, her husband going to jail, her facing jail time, her friends and family bullying her (while being posed strategically with a prop dog), something about her baby boy that didn't exist, her staged wedding renewal, her husband cheating and calling her a "c"… I could go on and on! No thank you!Honestly, I would never want that for me or my family. That's the truth! There is no jealousy here. I, personally, have always said that I would only want to be on the cover of a reputable magazine with an article that could make a difference in this world, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I've been asked to do covers before, but they were about my rocky relationship with my daughter, Ashlee. No thank you!

I said it once and I will say it again. If Teresa chose to put articles out there about her personal life in a national magazine, she shouldn't get insulted when family or friends ask her about these articles on a national TV show. Their issues were clearly no secret.

I never faulted Teresa for putting out articles for money. She could put out whatever lies about herself she wanted to earn money that she desperately needed, but I just thought she should have warned or clued in her family and friends first about what was real or fake so we didn’t have to worry. I also thought she should have just kept the articles about herself. It crossed the line when Teresa talked negatively about her family and friends in there or tried to blame others for putting it out there. Her hit and runs were the reason why everyone was having problems with her. (Besides the things she said that we were hearing in the industry and from mutual friends.)

I found it interesting when Teresa told everyone that there would be no more bashing them in the tabloids ever again unless someone said something about her. How did she know that? How? Because she controlled them! That episode was filmed exactly a year ago. It was on Caroline's birthday. It is Caroline's birthday today as I write this. How many more articles has Teresa put out since then? They haven't ended have they?

Look, I'm not saying that Teresa never had any right to be mad at her family or friends for anything, because everyone has their own perception of how they were treated. What I do know is that at one point, I saw her family sincerely making an effort to try to resolve things, and I felt that Teresa couldn't let go of anything to be able to move forward and wasn't making sincere steps to resolving it.

As far as Caroline not moving forward... That is because she felt too burned by Teresa to do that and Teresa never took accountability for what she did. The one thing I will say about Caroline is that she was not being fake about how she really felt. She put it out there that she was done with Teresa and that she had no interest in being her friend. She wasn't acting on camera. She wasn't pretending to love, love, love or pretending to want to mend a relationship that she didn't want to have just to please the viewers. You have to respect her for that.

Teresa's real feelings came out when she told Caroline how much she loved her and her family, but when she walked away, she called her an f'ing "C" and that she can go ‘F” herself while Caroline broke down in the other room and cried. Those were everyone's true feelings. Sad huh?Melissa and Joe stood by Teresa whether they thought she was right or wrong. I commend them for that. I'm not sure where that left Kathy. What a mess! I couldn't wait to get home! Let's see what happens next week.

Our reasons for coming forward with our son's diagnosis in People magazine was because we now have a diagnosis and a treatment plan in place. We didn't have that while filming, and we weren't willing to put it out there until we did. The more people that we reached out to for help, the more people knew about out son's issues. My husband and I didn't want to risk his diagnosis coming out in a way that was not controlled by us. We felt that by coming forward with this, it could not only help our child, which it already has, but also bring awareness to autism and possibly help other families who can relate to our situation. There is an enormous support system in the autism community along with resources and connections to be shared.  I think that others should be aware of this. I want us all to connect. I believe that while one treatment may work for one child, it may not necessarily work for another. But by sharing the options that are out there, we may just find the missing pieces that help our children to recover. We chose to tell our story to People magazine because of their outstanding reputation and outreach. We knew they would be sensitive to our story and not get it twisted. Did you know that People magazine reaches over 43 million viewers? That blew my mind.  To put that in perspective, In Touch magazine, who you are also familiar with, only reaches around  680,000. I think we made the right choice of magazine and did the article for the right reasons AND without pay. We were very pleased with the article. I can't thank People magazine enough for doing the article right and giving us part of their cover as well as giving us their exclusive feature story. We were thrilled!

I also thank my team ENV consulting and my autism expert consultant, Lauren Underwood, PhD who stood by my side and guided me through it every step of the way. My family and friends have been a HUGE support system for us, and so have all of my social media friends! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your understanding, compassion, resources, connections, and support! We are very grateful and we are optimistic for Nick's recovery! XOXO!

If you know anyone with Autism, check out these websites for resources:

www.Autismspeaks.org
www.GenerationRescue.org
www.AutismOne.org
www.Tacanow.org
www.centerforautism.comCheck out my website www.JacquelineLaurita.com. I'll put Nicholas updates on my website as well as some helpful tips on dealing with a child with autism.

Please donate or walk with me on "Team Laurita" for Autism Speaks or join me at the "Sparkle Speaks" event for Autism Speaks at the Brownstone on September 20th at 7:00pm.

Check out www.tryacneone.com if you are having issues with acne.

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Take care! See you next week! XOXO!