The Real Ke$ha of New Jersey

The Real Ke$ha of New Jersey

Episode 2:'s Associate Editor thinks Albie has finally figured out Ashlee.

Sexting, physical fights, Ke$ha references... This episode was a real grab bag of strange happenings. So let's look back at some of the most memorable moments.

No. 3 - Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Wakile

Evidently Victoria and Joseph aren't the only black belts in the Wakile family -- Richie's got some moves as well. Now to take it back a bit, Joe Giudice and Rich have always had a ball-busting relationship, as we saw last season. That's just how Jersey guys bro out.

But the ball busting got a little too literal during poker night. (Side note: Did any one ever even get to play any poker that evening? My guess is no.) Of course somehow the competitiveness about height came into play, and Rich and Joe Giudice decided to compare back-to-back. (Really, guys, let the height thing go. None of you are getting drafted into the NBA, give it a rest.) Then for whatever reason Joe decides that he's going to grab Rich's balls. Because... Yeah, I have no idea. So as Joe attempts to grab the Wakile family jewels, Rich flips him over and Joe hits his eye on a candelabra in the process.

Cut to all the men recounting the tale of the tussle to their wives as if this is a completely normal occurrence. Watching the girls try and grasp why and how this debacle occurred was maybe the best part of the whole incident.

No. 2 - Sext Scene

"All of a sudden people's crotches are getting into cyberspace." -Kathy Wakile on America's sexting episdemic

Kathy wisely had the foresight to have her children's Twitter accounts linked to her own email in order to monitor their messages, because Joseph's become quite popular with the ladies. And some of these ladies aren't afraid to get sexty, much to Kathy's horror and Rich's amusement. While Kathy tries to reach out to this girl and send her a message, Rich just wants to ogle the pics some more.

I can only imagine how different the situation would be if some boy had sent Victoria a racy message. Kathy and Rich would probably go into full on detective mode, hunt down the sender, and give him a taste of the patented Wakile family judo. This girl gets off with a stern warning to do something "more productive with her beauty." Luckily everyone was able to LOL about the situation in the end, and a valuable lesson was learned -- don't put Rich in charge of the response if this happens again.

No. 1 - The Real Ke$ha of New Jersey

Oh Albie. As if he couldn't win us over any more, he makes perhaps the most humorous/apt observation in Jersey history -- Ashlee thinks she's Ke$ha. Albie should consider being a psychologist, because I think he finally got to the root of Ashlee's issues. All the glitter, unicorns, and bottles of Jack in Ke$ha's music have poisoned her mind. Jacqueline should just upload some more inspirational tunes into her iPod (maybe that's where it disappeared to?) and then watch the changes commence. The question is, what artist would be the most appropriate to affect this transformation? A little Destiny's Child Independent Women?

In any event, let's just hope she finally got on that plane (and nobody gave her a straw for that Nyquil).

Next week Melissa boils over about Teresa's gold digger comments, and it looks like we're in for a Posche 3.0 fight. Also bindis are involved.
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