Milania Hates Nose Hair, Loves Antonia – Ep 1

We're back! And Jersey is not the same place we left it in the wake of not one, but two disasters -- the Season 4 reunion and Hurricane Sandy. Where do you go from here? In both cases the answer is clear: rebuild! Because with a few of Kathy's cannoli and a jug of Juicy Joe's homemade wine, what can't these kids solve?

So while we wait to see who (if anyone) will finally make peace with Teresa this season, I'll be counting down the most memorable moments of each episode. (And be sure to add your favorites in the comments.)No. 3 - Gia's All Grown Up

Gia changes every season, and it seems that this year we're slowly entering into the dreaded teen angst years. You know them well -- the time in your life when you certainly know more than your parents now that you've reached the wizened age of 11 or so.

All in one tumultuous shopping excursion we learned a lot about RHONJ's original resident child diva. First off, she likes a boy. And he likes her. (And no, not in a "girlfriend" kind of way.) She's also great at giving advice and being a sounding board for Teresa. Basically she told Teresa exactly how to handle the play date situation, grabbed Teresa's phone, and texted Melissa for Teresa. Her response was perhaps a little formal, but otherwise seemed like the right thing to say. Maybe people don't give teens enough credit...

Side Note: I almost died during the exchange where Gia says "Teresa..." in a stern voice. No. 2 - Manzo Mediation

Probably the last person you might have guessed would try to help reconcile Teresa and Joe Gorga is Caroline. (Well, the last person would have been Jacqueline, but then probably Caroline.) However here she is having an intervention with Joe Gorga. Her own issues with Dina are weighing heavy on her, so she is on a mission to bring these two back together. A mission that involves her going to talk to Teresa. Wait... what?! Last time I checked they probably would have sworn off leopard print before agreeing to have a one-on-one chat. Maybe it's just my Housewives intuition kicking in, but I don't see this going very well. No. 1 - Milania Gets Nosy

Guys, FIRST MILANIA MOMENT OF THE SEASON! Get excited, because she's more mischievous than ever, and this season she's on a mission to eliminate her nose hair. Someone get this girl a nose hair trimmer, because she "needs her nose hair GONE!" Honestly I don't know how Teresa didn't pull over, start hysterically laughing, and then drive Milania to the salon for a nose hair trim. (How do you say no to a cute kid?)

Of course it wouldn't be a Milania moment if she didn't do something just a little bit naughty, so of course she repeats Joe Giudice when he calls Melissa Horsey Face. As soon as the words left her mouth, it looked as if Teresa's eyes were going to pop out of her head. I think what she was trying to express without words was, "Really?!"

Side Note: Can we talk about the fact that Milania was wearing a full-on Cruella de Vil coat in the car? Where does one even find a coat like that for such a tiny girl? I want to know just so I can thank whoever crafted it. I leave you with this preview of what's to come on Season 5. I can't decide whether I'm more excited to see Joey and Rosie steal Rich's Ferrari or to find out what that wild boar is doing wandering around in New Jersey.