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Amber's Rules of Etiquette

Amber Marchese shares her thoughts on everyone's behavior at the Harvest Party.

By Amber Marchese

Hello New Jersey Housewives viewers! It is an absolute pleasure to meet every single one of you!

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Sundays at 8/7c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

I am so excited to be a part of such an amazing show. I cannot wait for you to take this journey with me.


As this is my first blog, I wanted to give you with a quick look into my wonderful and crazy life before the season begins. I am a mother of four, devoted wife, and dedicated fitness nut. Our family is based on “old school values” like faith in God, hard work, discipline, and family bonding. Something as simple as eating dinner together every night as a family and saying prayer before we eat is so important to us. It is a moment for us to reflect on our lives and appreciate the food we eat.

Speaking of the food we eat, organic and farm raised meats are a must! Yes, I “torture” my family with healthy foods and meals, but I do it out of love. You will never see processed, chemical laden foods in my home. I turned my love and passion for health and fitness into a reality when I graduated with a Master’s of Physiology and Biobehavioral Studies from Columbia University.

My journey with health and fitness, however, truly began when I was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago. Shortly after my youngest was born, I found several small lumps in my right breast. We brought it to the attention of my doctor and she sent me for a biopsy. I was fortunate to have a well-informed, aggressive physician and was quickly diagnosed and subsequently treated. I want to take this amazing platform that I have been blessed with and share my story with everyone. If I save even just one life, then it was all worth it to me. I was only 31 years old when I found the lump, and if I ignored it, I would not be here today.

As for my family; I have been married for eight years and my two older boys are my step children -- I call them angels. Michael is 14 years old, a history and computer buff. He is creative, funny, and very much like his father. Sebastian is 11 and has a passion for science. He says he is going to cure cancer one day, and I believe him. Sebastian is my sweetie pie, always ready to give a big hug and tell me I am beautiful. Corbin is 7 years old and being my biological son; he knows he has me wrapped around his finger. Corbin is my little Bobby Jones, handsome, quick witted, and loves to play golf, but wow! He is competitive! Then there is my youngest, Isabella. She is 6 years old and she is my heart. She is very sharp and sassy and yet remains sweet, kind, and very loving. This little one is a true beauty inside and out. She loves to sing, act, and dance. I see her following in the footsteps of my nieces, either on Broadway like her cousin, Lauren, or on commercials like her cousin, Brooklynn. Yes, I am a proud, gushing mama. My kids are my life and I would not have it any other way. My husband and I share the same values and try support each other in every endeavor.As for my friends, most of them have been in my life for over 20 years. You will get to meet many of them this season. We were all raised in Monmouth and Ocean County New Jersey from humble backgrounds. No “silver spooners” here, and that especially includes my husband. Melissa Gorga was part of this old crowd, but we lost touch ten years ago. I was hoping to rekindle the friendship and pick up where we left off, just good friends who enjoy one another’s company. The comment that I made about Melissa “going about success a different way than me by marrying wealth” was not a fair statement, and I want to apologize to Melissa. That comment sounds like I was referring to her a “gold digger.” I do not believe that in any way. Melissa is a college graduate and has always been a hard worker. She always had her head on straight and worked hard for goals. I think this is one of the reasons we got along so well, we had a mutual respect for one another. What I failed to articulate with that comment is that she dreamed of getting married and having a family early on in her life. She aspired early on to be an amazing wife and mother that she truly is today. I am proud of her.

Through her I met Teresa and Dina. As you will see, even though I knew Melissa, I am definitely the new kid on the block. The other new kids on the block are my friends the twins. We met through a friend of my husband. I introduced them to Melissa, Teresa, and Dina. You will see how all of our relationships evolve throughout the season.

Now, on to the episode!

The Fall Harvest party was such an important and sentimental time for me and my family. We wanted to celebrate life and friends as I was five years cancer free. It is amazing how life changed since my seven surgeries and a year and half of chemotherapy. This was certainly a celebration well deserved! We wanted a small, intimate party with a few close friends to celebrate life and longevity. We called it the “The Fall Harvest Party.” I invited many of my girlfriends old and new, and this included Melissa. Although I felt Melissa quickly disappeared from my life, I was excited to see her again! We had in the past five years exchanged Christmas cards and occasionally communicated through Facebook or via telephone. I was rather shocked to hear Melissa say she did not know that I was diagnosed and treated for cancer, especially since I talked about it on Facebook and I had received a Facebook direct message acknowledging that she knew. Well, although what she said was shocking, at least I know she is not a cold-hearted person! There was some relief in hearing that. Honestly, either way, everyone deals with the news of cancer in his or her own way. It is hard subject for all of us to cope with. Even if she said she did know, but just could not bear to deal with it, that would be just fine too. I just did not expect her to say she did not know, but I am so glad we got that cleared up!


It was a pleasure to meet Teresa Giudice. She is a very sweet person, and my thoughts and prayers go out to her and Joe for the loss of her father-in-law and the difficulties they are having. I got chills when Mr. Giudice was consoling Gia and Joe. He will forever be their angel, protecting them and watching over them. I did not know what to expect when I met her, but it turns out she is a real sweat heart.

As for the twins, I do care for them, so it hurts to hear Teresa and Rino make such nasty comments about my party and family. The twins were aware of the importance of the party and that it was meant to be an intimate evening. I tried to accommodate them the best we could when they wanted to invite thirty additional guests to my party just one week prior, but clearly that did not seem to make them happy. To hear TA-RE-SA refer to my child as a “little fucking kid” as she left just tore me up. She knows my children; my daughter absolutely adores them both. It was hurtful to hear her say that. A simple rule of etiquette: when a young gentleman, regardless of age,  properly greets you at the door, offers to take your shawl and escorts you into a room of guests, you do not refer to him as a “little fucking kid.” For the record, she was referring to my 7 year old son and he properly put her shawl in the closet next to the front entrance. 

As for Rino, I am not really interested in his opinions of my party. I don’t sit here insulting his restaurants. He was a guest at a very meaningful event for me and my family, but he clearly did not care. It was apparent Rino cannot hold his alcohol. He was so drunk that he was making my dog extremely nervous and slurred something about Bugs Bunny and funerals. Sorry, Rino, our party did not meet your expectations.Speaking of Dina, I got a good vibe from her. She seems nice and I love what she does to help children with cancer. She gets an “A” in my books. Side note, did she really mean to comment about the snowy walkway after showing up three hours after the party started? We had cleared and salted ten times over by that point. Anyway, she seems nice enough, but only time will tell.

I look forward to hearing your comments, good or bad; I am always open to hear either. How do think we all grow as human beings!? I am not going to sugar coat it all, although there were some absolutely amazing moments; however, there were also very hard and sometimes confusing times for me.

I cannot wait to watch the episodes to discover what everyone really had to say. To finally be that “fly on the wall” and have those “ah ha” moments. How cool is it to rewind life and get the total picture of the events that occurred?

I say it all of time, this show has an uncanny ability to capture the beauty in people and sometimes the downright ugly side of people. I was not perfect by any stretch, but I do feel that I can put my head down on my pillow at night knowing that I was genuine and never behaved in a nefarious manner. However, there are times I would of handled matters differently. I had a lot of life lessons learned when going through breast cancer. I almost lost my life and the ability to watch my babies grow up. The thought of not having a motherly influence for my babies was a very humbling experience for me. It taught me a lot about life and what is truly important. It taught me that we all are very much human, and as humans, we are all very much the same. We must love. We must love and honor one another the same, no matter what our differences are. And, above all, forgive. Forgive, because no one is perfect, but we all walk this Earth with hopefully the same goal of evolving into good people.

I also would like to thank all of my new Twitter and Instagram supporters. Even though you are just getting to know me, you have all have been amazing to me. I love you and appreciate you!

Twitter: @ambernmarchese
Instagram: ambermarchese

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