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Margaret Josephs: I Don't Hold Grudges, I Hold Standards
"Now I could’ve taken the 'Pigtail Party' to heart, but that would suggest it actually mattered."
I said what I said! "I bring the power, the pigtails, and the party,” and this week you’ll get to see all of it.
I run my office out of my home, and we just moved in a few weeks before, so there was construction, chaos, and cosmetic bags everywhere. I can’t tell you how happy I was to be out of Boca and back in The Jerz with Joe and Marge Sr.! I was so happy, I decided to have a little party: part-housewarming, part-launch party for the new Macbeth Collection items we were rolling out.
You would think that shacking up with the contractor would’ve put our house at the top of his list, right? Nope! You saw that my ballroom was a mess...but not having a ballroom never stopped me from having a ball! In this case, I may bring the power, but Joe brings the power tools. And when all else fails, glitter, confetti, and tassels solve pretty much everything. So a nice little cosmetic clean-up is all it took, and we were ready for the party!
I couldn’t wait to invite the Boca babes! I had such a good time with them and was wanting more. That’s not me being a wannabe, that’s just me being me. (Oh, and Siggy: I don’t need to go out of my way to be nice to anyone, it comes naturally—as natural as my boobs, thank you very much! Also, my being nice to someone doesn’t detract from how I feel about anyone else. I can compartmentalize much better than most and don’t need to dull someone’s sparkle to shine.) I have a whole lotta love to give and there’s enough to go around. Even for Siggy, despite her name-calling and wanting to pull my pigtails out…LOL! And for Dolores: I don’t need to call out anyone’s bad behavior to turn people against Siggy—she’s got quite the talent for doing that on her own. But anyway, slithering on...
Melissa and I had bonded in Boca over being businesswomen, so coming to see Melissa’s “baby” was really fabulous. Envy is really cute and has a great setup with much great stuff, so it’s very easy to drop the wad in there. I know she has poured her heart and soul into it, and it’s really paid off. And what a nice surprise to have Danielle drop in! I decided to tell the girls about my party and invite them all, but…sigh…only one problem… Siggy had blocked me on social media after accusing me of basically breaking into her “private beach club” and keeping her out of everything we did. I mean..I guess that’s where it went south, LOL.
Let’s clear some things up: it’s a hotel. A public one. A Waldorf Astoria resort. Anyone can walk in and do what they want. I’ve had lunch there numerous times, though I don’t stay there, because I stay at a club in Palm Beach, but anyway… I saw flowers in the hotel lobby while we were walking through to a yoga session Danielle and Teresa had planned, and I told the concierge I wanted to do something special for all of us. I explained what I wanted, and he called the florist and BAM—simple as that. Concierges and florists really know how to deliver…(see what I did there? You’re welcome.) And thank you to the Boca Beach Club for making a tagalong guest feel like a guest of honor!
So yes…Siggy had blocked me. Yes, Siggy declined the invitation to my party with class and respect (gotta hand that to her) until she hung up on me like a brat. I call that a 50/50 split on effect. Did she prove a point? Yes, but I don’t think it was the point she meant to prove. It would seem I’m being painted as the “mean girl” here, but I invited Siggy to my party in a genuine place of moving on. When I invite anyone to my home, I welcome them graciously and act in an appropriate manner at all times. I may yell about an oven here and there, but nobody’s perfect. Melissa and Danielle were more surprised, but I was really surprised. Melissa’s dealt with Siggy more than I have, so I should’ve taken my cues from her. I didn’t expect an adult, much less an expert on relationships, to conduct herself that way with a new relationship. Lots of assumptions, accusations, and attacks, but I guess that means I’m “toxic” by being truthful. Personally, I find it easy to move on, because I don’t take anything or anyone seriously — especially if they take themselves so seriously. Then it’s hard to see them as anything but weak and ridiculous. Either way, holding a grudge is simply not my style. Walking around in rollers and Pucci in all my glory, barking about kitchen appliances is my style. All that was missing was a cigarette in one hand and a poodle in the other, basically. Despite not having my Spanx all the way up (how mortifying!), it could’ve been worse: I could’ve had another over-the-big-top meltdown…
Poor Teresa! She had no idea that having a glass of wine with Siggy was really a front row seat to the one-woman show, “Unhinged.” Teresa said it best: Soggy Siggy, Psycho Siggy... all the Siggys showed up to this revue—even Sicko Siggy reared her head for one quick bit! Thank you,Teresa, for once again stating that we were ALL awaiting a call that day. I had requested a rose for EVERYONE despite being verbally accosted the night before as her “guest.” I’ll take a page out of your book, so to speak, and keep standing strong while Sideshow Siggy does her shtick.
Now I could’ve taken the “Pigtail Party” to heart, but that would suggest it actually mattered. Siggy “respectfully” declined my invite and then went out of her way to be disrespectfully ridiculous. To be honest, I found it endearing, and it read as more of an “Homage to the Marge” than anything else. I’m truly flattered. It was almost as sweet and adorable as my cotton candy martinis.
How’d you like the party? Candy colors, cotton candy martinis, and a gourmet twist on some good ol’ down-the-shore classics made for a really fun party! And just one set of pigtails! (And, of course with a little help from your friends…and their ovens.) A huge thanks to the Tommy Bahama girls for shaking up the party at the cocktail bar and to La Promenade for feeding the peeps! It was a fabulous night, full of fun people, friends new and old, and I still wish Siggy and Dolores had shown up. Had she come, I would’ve welcome Siggy as a guest of honor, thanked her for introducing me to the ladies, and crossed over the bridge of tears with her. That’s how you host a party, babe: no saltiness in sight.
Nevermind that she belittled me, insulted me, and used me as a pin cushion so she wouldn’t attack the friends she needs more. To me, friendship is not a competition. There is a place for everyone in a circle of friends. This isn’t Survivor. I, for one, am secure and don’t feel threatened by anyone. I feel most of us are like that. It seems insecurity is rife with Siggy and Dolores, sadly. They fear being replaced in some way. I would think that their self-confidence would be strong enough to not let their minds wander on the crazytrain and put on a three-ring circus. Oh well. I’m just glad Siggy agreed to meet despite Dolores’ advice.
I walked in not knowing what to expect but aware she was in the throes of a stage five meltdown, and I wanted to tread carefully and avoid the waterworks… HOWEVER, being my typical obnoxious, wiseass, funny self was not what the doctor would have ordered. I just can’t help it. I struggled to understand the depth of her feelings and the nature of why she’s so threatened and territorial, but then I saw it was nothing more than insecurity and overcompensation for fears of inferiority. That’s where that comment came from: the “trying to destroy you” comment. It’s very telling. Either she REALLY has a thing against pigtails or a thing against powerhouses. That’s not talent, that’s ego. That’s not empowerment, that’s malice. That’s not sanity, that’s delusion.
I believe a true friend is honest and sincere, in the good and the bad, and at every turn. I can poke fun at myself just as quickly as I could of anything. As soon as Siggy cried over cheese fries, I felt awful. My intention is not to hurt anyone’s feelings or upset them—I just want to lighten the mood and liven up the place. “Tongue in cheek,” to use her phrase. My apology was completely genuine and from the heart, and let’s just take note: There was one apology in the diner that day, and it didn’t come from Siggy. Like I said: I don’t hold grudges, I hold standards.
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