OMG what can I say? The Berkshires and I, well, unless it's The Canyon Ranch Spa, we don't get along.
I remember being very tired and stressed from work, and it seemed that I had a zero tolerance policy for bullsh--.
I walked in and it was game on. I still had my coat on, and I was in the ring. The hair comments were just bizarre. Let's just say that I copied Luann strand for strand. Now what? Compare our beavers? I was just confused. I mean she has had that hair since the dawn of man. I suppose it took me eight years to muster up the courage to attempt to look like the woman that I admire and respect so much. I mean...
Then the Skinnygirl convo. Well, we know how that worked out with John and Sonja, so three was definitely not a charm. Luann never lets the truth get in the way of a bad story, and I was just set off. It was like I drank truth serum and just decided to rail into her and honestly tell her exactly what I and everyone says about her behind her back. And I mean every Housewife, new and old, who posessed the ability to speak and express themselves.
This dates back to our fashion show snake days and has just reared its ugly head from time to time. Truly, I don't even mind Luann. She can be good fun. Her little act about me spending the summer at her house and her taking me into her family entails me going to one dinner and one daytime boat ride. Now we're members of the mafia together. Who knows... I let it all hang out and genuinely give zero f---s. It felt good. I speak the truth. The good news is that Luann is resilient, and I don't think it hurts. Luann is a survivor. Ain't nothin' knocking her down. Not with this group.
Otherwise, Ramona's dog was hilarious. It is so her. Literally this past weekend she came over, I showed her my brand new, never-driven car and she scratches the door by opening it and banging it against a stone wall. Then she blames me for parking too close. Ramona is vintage Housewives gold.
Sorry about Jules' dad. Luann seemed real concerned. Evidently my calling her a slut trumped the poor girl's dying father. Gotta love Luann. She has her priorities straight.
I also love that she (Lu) felt the need to point out that Tom wanted her, not Ramona. Bottom line is he went out with Ramona multiple times. They may or may not have slept together, but I saw them on a date, and they were digging each other. He was making the rounds. Luann saw him out, said "me next" and the rest is history. All kidding aside, everyone deserves to be happy, and I genuinely hope Luann is happy with Tom. No shade. She was with dozens of men this summer searching, and I really would be happy if she found the one.
Upstairs was hilarious. Carole and I talking about lesbian relationships and how many men we've been with made me giggle. That is my kind of girl talk.
To Dorinda, sorry that not only Coco the dog but I also sh-- all over your party. I got fired up, and I guess my manners are in NY or I lost them along the way. Plus, your lasagna was great as were your biscotti and the sweet bday cake from your mom.
This was a perfectly idiotic Housewives episode, so I'm happy, and I reckon Andy Cohen is too.
Til next time