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Like any mom, Tinsley Mortimer’s mom, Dale Mercer, means well. She wants to see her daughter happy and thriving in a relationship with the right guy. She also wants her to get married ASAP and give her a grandchild.
But with Tinsley’s love life going south on The Real Housewives of New York City (is she broken up with on-again off-again boyfriend Scott Kluth or not?), Dale is getting frustrated. Will Tinsley find her happily ever ever? We suspect yes, but she’s got to end things with Scott first, because it seems he’s not serious about marriage.
New York City-based therapist Liz Lasky says the dynamic between Tinsley and her mom is one she’s seen before in her practice. While Dale was there to support Tins, Lasky explains that it’s especially hard to have your mom or someone else close to you there at special events (like being the ringmaster of the Big Apple Circus) when you really want to share the moment with a partner. When your mom is still your main source of support at 43 and you are looking for love, it can be hard.
“Breakups can be incredibly difficult and single women often have a hard time because they don’t have the same type of support that someone who is in a relationship or married has,” Lasky says. “When the single women I work with have something big to celebrate, they yearn to be celebrating that with a partner. They don’t want their parents, siblings, or friends. They wish they were in a relationship and want to be celebrating their accomplishments with their partner.”
Which is why Tinsley had that breakdown after the show when her mom brought up Scott. She wanted Scott to be there and he wasn’t. Dale wants her to snap out of it and move on, but it's not always easy.
“I have a lot of compassion for people in this situation,” Lasky says. “When people are single and they don’t want to be, it can cause a lot of loneliness. Sometimes this loneliness pushes people to withdraw, making dating even more difficult.”
To Tinsley, she says, while it’s frustrating now, “Don’t give up hope. There’s a lid to every pot.”
In the meantime, Tinsley can thank her mom for the support and Mom can pump the brakes on the marriage and baby talk. Tinsley says so herself. During her appearance on the Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen After Show last week, she said: "My mom just wants me to be happy. She definitely has her direct mode of what she wants me to do and what she thinks would make me happy. So it's difficult because she has my best interests at heart, and I know that, and she wants me to be happy and have a baby and be in love, the whole thing, the whole package. So she does these things just to try to drive me into moving into that direction."
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