LuAnn: "Ramona and I agreed to make peace, but I am walking very slowly over the ice filled pond."
Aviva on her phobias: "Because I lost my leg being trapped in a conveyer belt, I'm just always afraid of being trapped in other kinds of machines."
LuAnn: "What other tricks do you have to pull out of your Pinot-filled hat?"
Aviva: "Say what you mean, just don't say it mean."
Heather: "I will remain Jewish by injection."
Sonja: "I don't stir the pot, I stir the drink."
Aviva: "I don't want us to become mean girls."
Ramona: "Can't live without a liver."
LuAnn on having another child: "I think Fertile Myrtle has taken a little wander into the pasture."
Ramona: "Oh my God, light bulb on my head, Pinot on my head!"
Carole, on LuAnn: "It's like she has Royal Tourette Syndrome."
Carole: "Do you think we're part of the one percent?"
Carole: "When people ask me if I'm a princess I usually say 'Yes, and don't fuck with Cinderella."
Carole: "I like to date men my exact, own age -- between 37 and 45."
Sonja on her interns: "My interns don't charge me, my attorneys do. My interns listen to me, sometimes, but my attorneys never do. So it's a win/win."
Heather on Aviva and Ramona's friendship: "When did Aviva crawl so far up Ramona's ass? I mean don't go there, it's not nice. It's dark and it's not good."
Heather: "The Countess seems to be wearing on the Princess. . .I think we may have the royal wars."
Carole to LuAnn: "Move over pumpkin head!"
Sonja, on her financial future: "I always envision myself on the subway, shaking a can, for money."
Ramona to Heather: "Just because you smile, doesn't mean you're nice."
Carole on the difference between childbirth and fiction writing: "When you give birth nobody criticizes the baby. Even an ugly looking baby everyone says is so cute."
Sonja: "There's three things for the bidet: washing the lingerie, icing your face, and the obvious."
Carole on LuAnn's cape: "The b---h stole my look!"
Sonja, on being set up with Aviva's father: "This could be really good or it could be really bad; Sex addict may be good, father bad."
LuAnn: "Who knew my eyebrows were just OK. I mean, I've always been told that they’re fabulous."
Ramona: "I don't like being blindfolded. I won't even let Mario blindfold me. And trust me, he's asked."
George: "It's your America, Mario."
Sonja on George's methods of love-making: "What happened to the old-fashioned way? Doggie style!"
And -- Sonja: "I turn around -- it's George, with an erection. How do you like that? Gross. But at least we know it works."
Carole on Ramona and Sonja's behavior during facial yoga: "I wish that Sonja and Ramona took it a little more seriously because they can both benefit from it -- but it's not my job to teach them good manners."
Sonja and the band at LuAnn's party: "I'm sure a part of The Countess died that night because that was definitely not in the book of etiquette."
Ramona: "I'm going to hold the fifth on answering that."
LuAnn on her Native American heritage: "Careful for your scalp baby."
Carole on Ramona: "I've yet to be at a party where Ramona has either caused or been part of some big drama."
LuAnn on Ramona's appearance at Sonja's photo shoot: "I wouldn't want you there, you’re a pain in the ass!"
Ramona, on the food at Carole's: "The only thing on the table was a bowl of M&Ms. I can't live on M&Ms, I guess Carole does."
Sonja on her time of the month: "If we threw Aviva's leg in here, and my blood, they’d be like, 'Murder!'"
Aviva: "It wasn't about my charity, it was about the children who are missing legs!"
LuAnn: "Shopping for bathing suits is like masturbating. . .it's something you want to do alone."
Sonja, on Carole's thoughts on firing the chef for not prepping a dipping sauce: "Don't fire him, I'll f--k him."
LuAnn: "I’m not just any pirate woman."
Ramona on Sonja's state after Le Ti: "Oh she’s coma toast."
Aviva: "I’m very sorry for the words that I used -- that’s what Rush Limbaugh said when he called someone a whore."
Ramona to Aviva: "Take a Xanax, calm down."
Ramona on who LuAnn is allowed to bring home: "Who cares who she brought home? It could have been a two legged pig for all I care."
Aviva, on trying to give up fighting with Ramona and Sonja: "We’re agreeing that we cannot penetrate these brains."
Ramona: "I didn’t get the memo, I don’t like surprises."
Sonja, on Aviva's arrival: "Can I get a return to sender?"
Carole: "I rarely drink to the point of no return, but after that trip I can’t wait to get bombed with Heather."
Ramona: In my opinion, and I'm usually right. . .
Sonja, on vacations: "That’s what people do on vacation. They party. They get their period. They break glasses. Things happen."
Sonja, on Aviva: "Let’s be clear here, this woman did not split the atom. She got on a plane with her husband, which she’s obviously done numerous times. She did go to school in France. You don’t get their by boat normally."
George's response to Aviva not setting him up with Carole because they are like sisters: "Incest is best."
Ramona to Aviva: "Having you around drives me to diarrhea, you upset my stomach."
Aviva: "It’s a metaphor, metaphor. m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r"
Ramona: "When I get involved fireworks happen."
Heather: "Take your ungrateful ass and get out of my face about it."
Ramona: "If she had long fingernails 10 inches long I would have marks and blood up and down my body."