Simon talks about Alex's birthday night and his limo outburst.

So in the previous week’s recap we see more of the tennis match. Please let that be the last of this story. NO MORE PLEASE!

This week’s episode opens with a cocktail party at Zarin Fabrics. Mario arrives and oh no, he’s still on about the tennis, his hands gesticulating, his lips gyrating, his brain arghh…I shouldn’t go there. But man let it go. Jill bows out of the argument gracefully and when they cut to her in interview mode she wisely states “mea culpa” and she gives up. Hopefully Mario’s had the last word. But oh no, it’s now my turn. After an apparent compliment about my normal “sartorial” attire I am told that I was dressed for the tennis like I was attending 7th grade gym. Love how as he describes the ‘gray’ shorts I wore we cut to more footage of the tennis with me clearly wearing white shorts. I admit that I’d bought the clothes earlier that day which I had en route to practice with Jill and then play the match that night. Please let this discussion be the very, very, very last word on the tennis. Marona, please just let it go. OK?

Bethenny arrives to another door opening (lol) and proceeds to complain how tiring it is to attend all Jill’s parties. Gracious much? She then says something about vaginas and vases which causes Jill to guffaw and Bobby to blush. Kelly arrives with Max and gives Bethenny another excuse to say how she really feels about her, we get it you don’t like her. Move on then and stop wasting your energy on her. When she does, Bethenny is back to her preferred venue; talking one on one with the camera not to their face.

Brad goes all giggly and googly at Max, Kelly says how she’s spontaneous and Max is spontaneous and so together they’re like firecrackers. Funny that, I thought there was nothing spontaneous about a firecracker as without someone lighting the wick they’re fairly inert! But what do I know? A pillow fight ensues much to Jill’s consternation and hopefully later in the season you might see our boys in their store. If you do let me know whose behavior was more appropriate, K&M or F&J?

Back at Ramona’s condo it’s her turn to meet with a graphic designer to review designs for the labels on her skin care products. Ramona seems to know what she likes and doesn’t, and clearly she’s not too enamored with what she’s seen.

Bethenny is then off to a supermarket store appearance in Connecticut and I leave it at that as clearly this wasn’t one of her finest moments. Congrats to her on the success of her book & I take it after this she’ll not be doing too many more supermarket presentations. Methinks the profits from books are a little higher than half a dozen cupcakes.

LuAnn is meeting with her book’s ‘writer’ (her words not mine) who’s taking notes on the Kountess’s views on Kissing. Just after telling her writer that she has so much to tell her, their meeting breaks up.

We’re off to LA where Kelly is meeting with a jewelry designer who has apparently designed jewelry to be marketed using a celebrity’s name. Kelly reels off several names who ‘wear’ her jewelry but in this scene at least she seems to have minimal input into the actual design. Apart from her own website does anyone know where it’s for sale?

It almost seems like after last week’s episode where Mario cast aspersions about whether Jill works or not, we’re back at Zarin where this time Jill is selling to two customers looking to buy some ready made drapes as their in-laws are coming to visit. I liked their line how they’re not super handy as they’re gay!

We have had some weird scenes this season but this one sort of takes the cake. I am not much of a runner and I don’t have long hair but a) when I run I prefer not to run in front of a NY Taxi (have you seen these guys drive) and b) If I had long hair I think I’d tie it up, however, to each to their own. I have seen Kelly since this scene was filmed so I do know her body came out unscathed, on this occasion anyway.

Jill’s off birthday shopping for her gift from Bobby. She invites Kelly, Sea Louise & Thaddeus Ann to go shopping with her as she looks at custom made handbags by Beatrice Amblard. We hear how Kelly started the relatively short lived magazine Elle Accessories (and her tenure was even shorter). Jill comments how 8 & 10 year old girls in the middle of the day can be better behaved than 2 and 4 year old boys out way too late at night at a dinner when Ramona’s late. Really and this is news? Jill, you really are sounding like you only ever had just one child – a daughter. Anyway, a bag is bought and we learn it’s moderately priced at a mere $16,000. Jill mentions how she finally has a B bag and how now she has one. I always thought that a B Bag was an Hermes Birkin Bag & am I sure she does too, so she was just having a little fun with the name.

LuAnn is meeting with her publisher and agent to approve a cover for her book & I must say I would never have chosen a photo of her lying down, particularly given the camera angle and her cleavage. Very Classy! Given her recent unfortunate news it’s hard not to feel bad for her as she talks in the present tense about her time with the Count. Oh, the magic of 6 month old television!

Back at Casa Zarin, Jill’s shooting a pictorial for a design magazine Traditional Home. We get to hear the name Zarin Fabrics at least a further 20 times and realize that Kelly & Bethenny love to drop celebrities’ names whereas Jill just like to drop her own plus fabrics!

Jill says that Brad did a phenomenal job and she then goes on about how private planes are to her known as pee-pees. How cute!

Bethenny joins Ramona at Ramona’s condo where R is unveiling her skin care line alongside her jewelry. Bethenny highlights that one is TRUE and the other Tru and points out the inconsistency. Obviously she hadn’t received the memo that Ramona knows what she knows & when she knows it & advice is not something she takes too kindly to. From Ramona I got the impression that the TRURENEWAL used for her skincare was chose as the website for TrueRenewal had already been taken. And sure enough it had been. That explains that then!

After the other party attendees compliment Bethenny, Ramona returns to normal and as she does so well, proceeds to place her foot in her mouth. Again! While Bethenny is an expert at dishing it out, she has a major problem if anyone ever casts a slight on her. A very pained Bethenny follows. Perhaps she should reflect on how she feels when people have a go at her before she doesn’t to others. What do you say Bethenny?

It’s now Bethenny’s turn to publicize her book as she takes part on a photo shoot for her book cover. We see her shoot in several different outfits, none of which ended up on the cover. But she did get the book’s name in several times, and cleverly unlike Luann she didn’t give her co-writer any publicity.

Bobby may already bought her a new handbag, which hopefully he knew about but he also got her a new Mercedes SVU. All was going well until Jill found it wasn’t compatible with her phone and in her words “not happy." Between this & the television last week, I am beginning to think her priorities are a little out of whack.

Finally, it’s time for October 1st and time for Alex’s birthday surprise. Over the 10 birthdays we have been together I have always tried to do something special & different. To his day I think the most special one was when she was 8 months pregnant with Francois and given our interest in fine wines and fine dining couldn’t be satiated, I chartered a helicopter & we flew all over Manhattan & Brooklyn for the afternoon. A lot of fun. Anyway this day I had all planned out. Alex & I both had worked all day although I had arranged (unbeknownst to her) with her boss in Ohio for her to leave a little early. A limousine driven by one of our usual drivers collected her from her office & brought her to meet me at the studio of our favorite jewelry designer, Ray Griffiths.

As Alex arrived she still wasn’t sure where we were but as we walked n the building, it dawned on her. We’ve been buying Ray’s beautiful jewelry now for 5 or so years and he knows what she likes and had pulled some great pieces to suit her. Sure enough and as per usual the most expensive pair was the winner as we joked, as we were in the middle of the renovation that was one less piece of furniture now hanging on her ears!

Now comes the fun part to explain. This scene of me flipping out in the car has been trailed all week. Let me just say that between leaving Ray’s studio and you seeing me flip out, several stops had to be made to again give directions on the exact route we were to take. While I am not saying who these directions were given to, it wasn’t to our limo driver and so you can make your own mind up who else might have been around. I do have to say just how many times did my outburst phrases get used over and over again?

Anyway after the surprise was ruined we get home to a delightful welcome from the boys. You see how quickly I have calmed down and we have a great celebration with our two beautiful sons who galloped up the stairs to welcome their birthday Mommy home. Johan had only recently learned the word “surprise” and you hear him exclaim it several times in just a few seconds.

After we put the boys to bed I had one further surprise in stall and this was a secret and most important non-televised soiree in a private bar just around the corner from our house. A great relaxing party was had by all as well as Jill, Bobby and Brad who joined us to celebrate.

Join us next week and maybe, just maybe we’ll get an update on our house. As believe you me, although it hasn’t been televised much this season, an awful lot of work has been going on.

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