This blog is brought to you by the letter V. V is for vindication. During the USVI trip, I spoke to Simon every day – I didn’t feel the need to prove to the other girls that I’m a good wife and mother so it wasn’t necessary to call home in front of them. Anyway, whenever I spoke to him, or to Derek I said, "Kelly seems to be slowly but surely going crazy." Neither of them believed me. Just like we didn’t get it when Bethenny called it last season – she had a well-deserved "told ya so" moment tonight.
V is also for vampire, because apparently I am one, who wears black Kabuki eyeliner and channels the devil. And with that, WAIT!! Housewives quiz – who said that phrase back in episode seven? How interesting....
Each day one of us prepared a surprise or an activity for Ramona and the girls, and this week you see Kelly’s offering, the photo shoot. I've been in front of hundreds of cameras in my life; at most shoots I had a great time and was completely comfortable, but as anyone who has ever modeled knows, sometimes you just want to take the damned picture and move on. This time I was definitely not comfortable, and it showed in the way I styled myself for the shoot, my posture, everything. Just not good. The night before at dinner was the first time Kelly had said I was channeling the devil, and by the end of the night she had nicknamed me Encyclopedia. That in and of itself is fine and actually pretty funny, but instead of it being cute, it was more like a weapon.
I nearly stayed home with Bethenny that afternoon, but Kelly had put so much effort into planning the picnic and photo shoot that I wanted to try and make it work – also Ramona and Sonja were really excited too and I didn’t want to be a killjoy. Ramona was vivid, Sonja was voluptuous and I just wanted to vamoose. When Kelly tried to get me to relax by saying my son’s name over and over, I nearly ran into the surf to get away from her. It felt very unsettling to listen to this woman who had been so aggressive the night before, suddenly throwing around the name of my child. Argh. I was glad I had the opportunity to bring it up with her that night, but I don’t think she understood where I was coming from.
V is for villa - Presidio del Mar was the most spectacular villa I’ve ever seen on an island. Gorgeous, phenomenal and beautiful – and we did have a great time, despite all the drama you see unfolding. Bethenny’s dinner was fantastic – the crab cake was out of this world and the steak was great too. If one defines the term "chef" by whether or not they’ve tasted the person’s food and found it good…she’s definitely a chef.
I literally cannot wait for the next episode to see what they’ve chosen because you would not believe everything that happened. Or maybe you would.
After a month of weird font coding issues, our book is finally available on Kindle!! We’re thrilled, and this weekend Simon and the chums and I are off to Barnes & Noble in Edison, NJ and Carle Place, NY on Long Island for book signings – see our family website for locations and times. Let’s end with one more v word – how about vamanos....