Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Alex talks about the Cocktails and Couture drama, her blow up with Jill, and more.


I’m racing to get this blog in before Simon and I meet Derek at Design on a Dime for Housing Works, which, if you live in NYC, is a GREAT place to get home furnishings at very reasonable prices, where the proceeds all go to help end the twin crises of AIDS and homelessness. This weekend the chums and Simon and I will be in CT and Boston for book signings – if you’re in the area, please come and see us as we’d love to meet you!

At the Cocktails and Couture party, I was happy to bring along a few dresses, including one of my Cavalli gowns. I was greeted by LuAnn, who wondered why I delivered Bethenny’s message to Jill and stated that I shouldn’t choose sides. I was surprised by her statement as LuAnn definitely chose sides herself – that was a “do as I say, not as I do” proclamation. Although I was conflicted about having delivered Bethenny’s message in front of the other women, I don’t think LuAnn has ever expressed remorse for passing Jill’s feelings to Bethenny, for lurking on speakerphone or for telling Jill’s story about my boys at Ungaro. Nor did I ever ask LuAnn who made her God after any of those incidents. Bizarre. I agreed that I’d be willing to talk to Jill about it.

More people arrived and Bobby pulled me aside. Out of the whole group, Bobby is the one whose opinion of the situation would have held the most weight, and I was completely open to hearing him out. Having done so, I reiterated that I would find Jill and speak to her.

Let’s be clear. I did understand that I had embarrassed Jill in front of the group. I was not sorry about relaying B’s message to her, but willing to accept responsibility for the way in which it came out. With that, I approached Jill later during the party. She didn’t want to talk. For those who have been following this whole mess online, Jill commented at one point that sometimes when someone offers to talk “she doesn’t want to make up yet.” Personally, I don’t play that game – it’s passive aggressive. You either want to talk, or you don’t. She didn’t.


We agreed to go to the Eldridge to support Kelly, but the last thing I wanted to do was be around Jill, who was bouncing around on the banquette like a five-year-old. Simon took my wingman request as a directive to go right over to Jill and sit underneath her. LOL. I was not in the mood and it was the end of a long day, so I grabbed my man by the wings and vamoosed.

By the time Bethenny’s father died, there had been multiple reports of his illness, that he had retreated, and that he had let his staff go. It was online and on Google Alerts. I thought it was really disingenuous that Jill pretended not to be aware that he was dying. I thought it was pretty horrific that at 4pm that day, Jill texted me asking if I had heard he’d died. Yes, I knew. By 4pm, everyone knew. I didn’t appreciate getting a gossipy text about someone dying, particularly when Jill and I hadn’t spoken for weeks. I didn’t like it that Jill was being a nosy busybody, telling people how they should react and what they should be feeling (which she does all the time, to everyone) … and all the anger I felt toward her just spewed out. I asked Kelly to move; she wouldn’t. She insisted on staying between us. I couldn’t stop myself; I let Jill have it. I then got up, walked out and nearly took the wine glass with me – luckily I managed to give it back to Jen on the way out. Side bar – Jen’s apartment is beautiful – too bad we didn’t get to see more of it.

I don’t want to be back in high school – I don’t like to compete among women or friends, only in business. I put my family and work first, and I have never attacked anyone else’s husband or children. The same cannot be said for Jill. She needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror.

On that note, I’m racing out of here to go raise some $$ for Housing Works. Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there; hope it’s a great weekend!

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