There is so much I want to say but I could never come out with the right words. Am I sad watching the show? Yes. Do I wish I knew what others were saying behind my back at the time? Yes. Would it have changed how I reacted to what I saw? Maybe. It was a difficult time for me and Bethenny. I had NO IDEA what was going in her life. It had been four months since I had last spoken or seen her. Ramona and Alex did not tell me anything. I guess I should have picked up better "cues" from the ladies, but with cameras in your face you can imagine the distraction. I was absorbed in my own world of "stuff" and just needed time to think. No one would give it to me. Everything you see happened within a matter of a few weeks. Not months. Everyone keeps ambushing me. It was awful. If I could have just talked to Bethenny without cameras in my face I think we would have made up. It was just too much pressure for me. I was very wounded and needed some time to think. Remember, this was all happening very, very quickly.
I loved Bethenny like a sister and hope one day when the cameras are all gone we can reconnect. My mother, sister, and I talk about friendship a lot in our book, www.secretsofajewishmother.com. It was written during the summer. I talk about my relationships with everyone and how we feel about friends.
Our Golden Rules of Friendship are:
1. Be There
2. Apologize when wrong
3. Forgive. Let it go.
Learning and applying these three rules is a process and no one is perfect. Every relationship needs to run its own course. Have you ever had a fight with a friend? Has it always gone the way you wanted? I always say that the test of a real friendship is getting past your "first" fight. This was my first fight with Bethenny. Only time will tell if we were ever really friends. I am very happy for Bethenny and the family she has created. No one wanted it more and she deserves all the happiness in the world. I hope maybe one day to share it with her again.
I leave tonight for Israel with Allyson. I am taking her on a mother/daughter trip. I think it important to spend quality time with her before she leaves home for college. My sister is meeting us there and we will have a book signing in Tel Aviv on Thursday night. When we return we will be getting ready for our official book release April 15th. I am so excited to be with my mom and sister on this journey together. If not for all of you, it would not have been possible. Thank you for being such loyal fans and you will have to watch and see what happens next!