Satchels of Gold

Satchels of Gold

Teresa talks Skinny books, heavy meds, kissing with "the tongue" and more.


Hi Sweethearts!
Did you miss me? Sorry I haven’t been guest blogging for New York the past couple of weeks, but things have been so crazy since my season started and my book came out. I was on a book tour, went to LA, got my girls’ pictures taken, and celebrated my birthday. It’s been so crazy! But so great as well. My book Skinny Italian hit the New York Times bestseller list this week!!! If you bought a copy, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me. And if you haven’t gotten it yet, but are thinking about it, it’s not only over 60 healthy recipes for delicious, easy-to-cook Italian food, there’s also tons of other information in it: how to buy olive oil, how to dress sexy, "Six Rules for Loving Your Food and Having it Love You Back." You will LOVE it, I promise.

Of course, you’re all New York fans, and I’m a straight shooter, so I wanted to clear up right now that the title of my book had nothing to do with Bethenny (please!). Books take a long time to publish, and when mine was going to print, her only book was her first book: Naturally Thin. My publisher wanted to get across that my authentic Italian recipes were "skinny" - you get it? I make "skinny" Italian food. When Bethenny decided to name her second book the Skinnygirl Dish, my book was already to press. But really, Skinny Bitch was out a year before both of our books, and there are a million books with "skinny" in the title. Bethenny’s books are great, but totally different. Mine is about living the Mediterranean lifestyle, has full color photographs and nutritional information for all the recipes, tons of fun facts and even a little behind-the-scenes Housewives gossip. So there you go. You can love, love, love us all! We certainly all love you guys!

By the way, an official congrats to Bethenny on the birth of baby Bryn. She is gorgeous!


Now, where to start about the most disturbing episode of reality TV I’ve ever watched in my life? Seriously, I’m including our "Last Supper" season finale. This episode was just insane. And not in a good, old-fashioned table flipping way, but in a I-thought-someone-was-actually-going-to-get-killed way.

I have no idea what was going on with Kelly, but it was really hard to watch. I couldn’t tell if she was seriously crying and seriously scared, or just seriously confused. I think Kelly is right, she is "real." I don’t think she fakes things or sets things up for the cameras like other Housewives do. But her reality is kind of scary, huh? So knowing that, knowing that she was "really" feeling that… I don’t even know what that was… Ganged up on? Caged? Psychotic? It was sad and scary to watch. Then again, Kelly says "feelings" are so "1979." So if she wasn’t "feeling" crazy, she just was crazy? I feel like I need medication after watching that whole thing go down.

Did anyone else think it was weird that when she gave herself a time-out, she ran down the hall crying, and then came right back with jelly beans? And what were the Blow-Pops used for on the beach? Does Kelly maybe have "funny" candy? Like from Amsterdam?

The New York ladies talk way more than we do in Jersey, but some of the stuff they were saying this episode was just hilarious. Kelly saying "satchels of gold" under her breath? Bethenny screaming "Go to sleep! Go to sleep! You’re crazy!" But my favorite of all was when Kelly asked Ramona and Bethenny: "Are you guys going to make out, like with THE TONGUE?" She said it again later too, about "the" tongue. Is there some other way of kissing I don’t know about? JK!


Poor Alex didn’t really get to say a word. Ramona was super nice to everyone. But LuAnn wins the prize for smartest housewife this week: she not only didn’t go on the trip, but she told Jill not to about 10 different times. Jill, of course, wasn’t taking a poll. She made up her mind to go. And you know it’s not going to be pretty!

Remind me to have a Bellini in hand before I watch next week’s episode. I talked to them last year when they all got back from the Virgin Islands trip and they were ALL complete wrecks. I can’t wait to see what actually happened.

Visit me at and follow me on Facebook or Twitter @teresa_giudice. I’m adding new book signings every day. And don’t forget to watch Real Housewives of New Jersey on Monday. This week’s episode is great! I have baby Audriana and Dina has a... well, you’ll have to tune in and see!

You May Also Like...
Recommended by Zergnet