Remain Calm

Well here we go! Get ready for more nasty back-stabbing comments behind my back from some of the women. It is just going to get worse as the season progresses. I don't know if I am even ready for the claws.

Avery is the love of my life (besides Mario) and the fact she is leaving home in two years for college makes me sad because we spend so much time together now! Five nights a week we all have dinner together. So, when I got to LuAnn's, I was curious how she handles being away from her children for several days at a time. If Luann took this as a "dig" and an insult, I would say that's her own insecurities and, perhaps, guilt.

It is my opinion that teenagers need parental supervision and guidance more than any other age group. Teenagers need to know their parents are home. This is a time when they need us more than ever, as they are going through so many changes and experiences. I want to make sure Avery stays on the right track. And Mario and I do so by putting the time in with her. I, for one, could never ever spend 72 or more away from her every week. But, everyone has different philosophies on how to raise their children and the amount of time they spend with them.

Cindy's party was not what I expected. I was most looking forward to going horseback riding on a trail. Who knew that meant being pulled around like a five-year-old on a pony ride!?

I had a best friend Jeff, who I knew for 20 years before anyone else in our group did. He was like a brother to me. As I write this now, the pain in my heart and the tears in my eyes can't be held back. When will this pain go away? It's been almost two years! The fact that LuAnn could not understand where my tears were coming from shows me how self-absorbed she can be.

I always like to go to the source, and did not want to go to Cindy about her brother. LuAnn gave me the worst advice: "Talk to him at Cindy's party." This is the last time I will ever take her advice. I am not angry at him. I don't dislike him. I am just so hurt that he felt it necessary to tell me he was smoking my dead friend's cigar. Cindy's brother, who never even knew Jeff, was smoking Jeff's cigar and telling me about it. In my opinion, it was disrespectful to my deceased friend and to me. So, listening to LuAnn's advice, I went over to speak to him calmly, well at least calmly for me. Once I got up the nerve to speak to him, all the emotions and pain of losing Jeff came up to the surface. It was hard not to cry and my hands were shaking. To this day, her brother has never spoken to me about my feelings. I have now put him and the situation behind me.

I miss Jeff tremendously. May God watch over his soul for eternity and peace be with him. I'll close now, as I am so sad.

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