Where should I begin?
The main reason I left the Berkshires is that I was uncomfortable around Kristen.
Heather had put so much effort into the weekend that I did not want to ruin everyone else's time.
One thing everyone knows about me I have no trouble saying and doing what I want -- sometimes to my detriment. If I wanted to leave for a party in the Hamptons (which I was sponsoring with my Ramona Pinot), I would have absolutely no problem telling them and excusing myself from the remainder of the weekend. How many times do I have to say the main reason I left the Berkshires is that I was uncomfortable around Kristen?
She and I were not making up, and it was not relaxing being around her. My intention was never to hurt her. But if you throw something you don't know where it can end up -- so it is always wrong to throw an object.
After breakfast, I called my friend to pick me up and then I went in the woods. I always intended to leave after our walk.
Going into the woods jarred me and brought back bad memories. Those were not fake or crocodile tears. I never ever expected this reaction from myself.
I was very disappointed the ladies did not get this, especially Carole who saw me cry first-hand.
LuAnn after all these years has me pegged in certain areas. I thought it was quite clever of her that she blocked me in. So I could not leave -- or should I say flee?
Should I have stayed and stuck it out in the Berkshires? I don't know, perhaps. . .But at that time it felt better for to me to leave, so I did.
I met Kristen for tea as I wanted to clear the air and tell her how genuinely sorry I was. I laughed out of nervousness -- it was either that or cry.
It was an accident! I NEVER meant to hurt her. It was plastic and bruised the inside of her lip -- which bled.
It became apparent that Kristen and I were not going to resolve everything between us at tea. I never said Kristen was a bad mom, so I am confused why she thought I implied that? I am not perfect. People make mistakes, and I wanted her forgiveness.
Kristen wasn't ready to fully accept my apology and that is her choice. I will end by saying my behavior towards Kristen in the canoe was inexcusable and un-ladylike.
Till next week!