Sonja: I Need a Vacation From This Vacation

Everyone has a breaking point, and I hit mine during the trip to Turks and Caicos. The emotions you saw in this last episode had been building up inside me for the entire season. Hearing that my “good friends” Ramona and Bethenny had been talking about me behind my back added fuel to the bullsh-- fire started by Heather. This was the last straw for the straw that stirs the drink. Add that to that the hypocrisy of it all and you get an upset Sonja freaking out on the beaches of Jerks and Chaos. I really pride my self in not lowering my standard by screaming like the girls, or slinging mud but enough is enough.

There are too many contributing factors to count that led to my explosion, but let’s start with the fact that I planned this whole trip for these ladies, and they decide to take this moment to attack my character just as they did in Atlantic City. I had been turning the other cheek all year, and I had decided to be the bigger person by inviting all of the women to celebrate the end of my chapter 11 with me. This trip was supposed to be a wonderful moment in my life where I invited all of my girls to enjoy a monumental moment in my life. They just can’t be happy for me and feel the need to continuously try to keep me down. But despite their negativity, I am still in my house, raising a beautiful, smart daughter, and flourishing professionally. I am THE poster child for not letting the naysayers and mudslingers get you down. Keep your eye on the ball is my motto!

I cannot believe that conversation between Bethenny and Ramona! Watching the two of them coming together to express concern for my well-being--while not discussing the issues with me--was shocking. They both continuously said that they were concerned for me and that I have a drinking problem. I thought I dispelled this rumor in Atlantic City. Ever since then they keep throwing it in my face. These girls need to come up with some new material. Yes girls, you saw me in Atlantic City blow off a little steam (nearing the end of my Chapter 11 and dealing with them putting me down), but that does not mean that I have a problem. The girls should take a minute to reevaluate their own relationships with alcohol before insinuating that I cannot drink responsibly.

Ramona knows me very well, which is why I am so hurt hearing her say to Bethenny that I am my own worst enemy. She is validating what the other girls are saying when she knows very well that I am a responsible person. She even said when we were alone that the other girls have no idea what they’re talking about! And yet when she is talking to Bethenny, she gives a completely different story. That was tough to watch.
None of the girls are blameless in this situation, but I can see now that I shouldn’t have only blown up at Bethenny on the beach. At the time, I was under the impression that Bethenny was talking about me disparagingly to Ramona. Now I see that the street ran both ways. If these girls really cared about me, they would not act like this. It is reckless and unfeeling. With Ramona and Bethenny, the friendship is real, but the delivery was bad. I was left feeling attacked and vulnerable. I need to keep in mind it's just this click who behaves like this.

Ramona and Bethenny seemed to have a real connection about their problems in their marriages, which reminds me that they are going though their own personal issues and that I should cut them some slack, but I don’t feel like they are giving me the same treatment! They were not thinking about my personal issues when they were talking about me to the whole world.

Some of the girls felt some remorse for the way they treated me, which was nice to see, but I think they really just missed me, the fun one, on the boat (that I arranged with my friend Mary Lou the publisher of Turks and Caicos Discover Magazine, thank you very much!). Saying sorry after doesn’t take the damage away. Maybe we could have all enjoyed the boat if they thought it through!
I can’t believe that I missed the girls pouring ice water on Ramona! At this point, I wish I could pour some ice water on all of them.

Of course I’m not going to let this bump in the road ruin our entire vacation. The girls needed to hear how I was feeling and then respect the boundaries that I needed to impose. I needed to set some ground rules. Once that distinction had been made, I was happy to have a good time, but I won’t be partying with these girls. Not since Atlantic City. I’ll just be sipping my wine or champagne. They are not to be trusted.

Dorinda was right to say that these girls all keep score. She may be new to the group, but she seems to have figured them out very well. I am grateful to Dorinda for being a stand-up gal by saying that the other girls need to lay off me and let me run my life. I always stick up for whoever is getting picked on. I really feel Ramona is the worst in not stepping up to the plate. None of these girls really know me well in my business world, but at least Ramona knows I don’t have a problem, and she should be the last person to point a finger. She definitely should look at her own issues.

I didn’t understand Dorinda’s fight with Heather at all. One minute we were going to the amazing restaurant Fire and Ice--by the way I hope you all noticed that I was bringing the fire with that bright red dress--and the next minute she and Heather are in a screaming match. And about what? Honestly at that point, I was just glad not to be the center of attention.

I do think that by the end Bethenny understood that the girls needed to lay off me. The hundred-dollars-if-you-talk-about-Sonja rule was funny and should always be in effect. I was glad to see that the women were donating to charity--at least something good came of them talking about me! Bethenny also expressed remorse multiple times, which I appreciate. But she’s an intense person and during that trip it became too much for me. I’m not used to people communicating like that as much as I try to understand where they are coming from. The stress started to affect all of the women, and now Bethenny and Ramona are fighting! I need a vacation from this vacation. I wish I could say that the rest of this trip is drama-free, but there is always a new argument around every corner with these chickens in the hen house! Stay tuned to see what other craziness the ladies and I get involved with in Turks and Caicos. And remember, nice never works with these people.
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