Dorinda Medley: Not Everything Can Be a Business Decision or a Judgment

Dorinda Medley: Not Everything Can Be a Business Decision or a Judgment

Dorinda thinks she should have trusted her intuition when it came to attending Bethenny's BBQ.

OK, this is going to sound awfully cliché but at this point, I feel everything we’ve been up to these past few weeks is just as old and as cliché. So here it goes: CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!

I know that sounds far simpler than the “reality” we’re seeing, but that simple concept is exactly the approach I’ve always tried taking in my life. We are grown women, and we have complicated lives, complicated pasts, and even complicated futures. That’s why I generally stay on my side of the fence and let the others try and figure out what’s going on in their backyards first. But you know how it is…everyone wants to tiptoe through your tulips and set your house on fire.

Speaking of houses on fire, Carole and Bethenny are really cute...

Carole had an insightful moment, commenting on John being an elementary schoolboy yanking Bethenny’s pigtails. But I don’t remember elementary being so gossipy, so bitter, so resentful, so…childish. More like a sequel to Mean Girls than The Little Rascals. Look, it took some serious humbling for John to even go — at Bethenny’s invitation, let’s be clear — and then to apologize to her for the assault earlier in the week. I’ve said this before, so I’ll say it again since it bears repeating: John had no right, and it was truly out of line. So now he had to make up for it and be gracious and respectful. Take it from me — those two qualities are VERY rare in this day and age. Especially in this city, and even more so amongst our group.

Well This Is Awkward

Look, his apology attempt wasn’t done in the style I would have preferred; and Bethenny’s attempt at being gracious wasn’t done in the style I would have preferred either. It was like a lead balloon festival…crashes, burns, splats everywhere. Was I better off skipping the birthday party? Maybe. Here’s the thing: I like Bethenny, and I know she likes me. I thought it was an opportunity — and the right atmosphere — to try and put this behind us, graciously, make peace, and celebrate a fun day together. I was hoping to see everyone take the high road, but instead they took the low seats in the picnic section. I should’ve stuck with my intuition and not gone. Ultimately my company wasn’t appreciated, John’s company certainly wasn’t, and that just resulted in undue stress on Bethenny’s birthday…again. We should’ve just stayed behind. Either way, it would’ve been better just being the Princess and Countess moment.

Carole Has No Interest in Making up With Luann

And on that, it’s quite obvious that Carole and Luann can’t move on from last year, something they’re BOTH guilty of and took way over-the-top — both online, on-camera, and in day-to-day. Fact is, they both needed to apologize to each other because it certainly wasn’t a one-way street. The friendship was killed off before an international audience for four or five months, and in private for the next 10. Just be ladies about it — cordial, respectful, gracious, and then avoid each other. They’ve both moved on, they’re both happy, they’re both in love, and they’re both living their lives. Shake hands, smile from across the room, and then enjoy yourself. Another simple concept I’ve always lived by.

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Who Are You to Judge?

Even the next day at Jules’ brunch, the moment Luann walked in, Carole was clearly not comfortable and clearly wanted to leave. Luann is a presence, for sure, but by no means is she people repellant. She’s actually quite the opposite. Seeing Carole so uncomfortable and watching Bethenny just be downright rude was uncomfortable FOR ME. It was almost embarrassing. Keep in mind, Jules is my friend, and I brought Jules’ world and this housewifery world together, so seeing them clash like this was actually really disappointing — almost hurtful — and, yes, truly embarrassing. Both Bethenny and Carole are past the age of having their poor manners be overlooked. If John, Luann and Ramona can’t get away with it, then neither can Carole and Bethenny. Neither can anyone, really.

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Why Does Bethenny Notice These Things?

So let’s brush up on our social niceties for a moment: As guests in someone’s home, it is your responsibility to be gracious, be kind, and be complimentary. Everyone has opinions, everyone has insights, everyone has their own perspective. But no one has the right to voice them whenever they want — especially not when you’re a guest in someone’s home. No one is excused from that: no mogul, no princess, no countess, no king, no sultan of stains. We’ve all had our big dreams scrutinized by our elders and our peers, but these girls should know from their own personal experiences that scrutiny made you persevere and made you succeed beyond your own expectations. Not everything can be a business decision or a judgment. As much as it pays to have brains in this world, it often pays more to just have heart.


Instagram & Twitter: @DorindaMedley


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