The Most Interesting Pets Make the Best Taglines ... So We Hooked Up the RHONY Pets with Their Own

The Real Housewives of New York City are officially back and living it up in their 10^th (!!!) season. We’ve already heard all the ‘Wives new taglines, including Tinsley Mortimer’s instant classic, “C’mon. Why would I cook when I can order room service?” but what about their pets? As already noted by our crackerjack dog journalists, every single lady on RHONY has at least one pet … and don’t they deserve their own iconic catchphrases?

Here, we imagine what each pet would say (should he or she be the one twirling and posing in a red or black ball gown in the opening credits).

Bethenny Frankel sadly suffered a loss in October when her 17-year-old pup Cookie died, but she still has her two double trouble rescue pooches to keep her company.

Biggie: My namesake may have said, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.” But I couldn’t disagree more.

Smallz: I don’t care about east coast-west coast beef… I only care that it’s grain-free.

Tinsley Mortimer had three Chihuahuas at one point but her older pooches have passed on and now she just has one sassy little boy who she rescued in 2011.

Bambi: Remember when Bambi learned how to walk? Watch this Bambi learn how to werk.

Ramona Singer will always defend her "love button" pup Coco who's hard to forget after poopgate.

Coco: My name may sound sugary-sweet, but never forget that some chocolate is dark.

Luann de Lesseps has a pooch named after Aston Martin ... and he's the type of pup we'd stop and stare on the street.

Aston: Think of me just like the car: I’m sleek, I’m fast, and most of all, I’m iconic.

Dorinda Medley's adorable spaniel Lucy most definitely always makes it nice.

Lucy: If you see this Lucy in the sky with diamonds, it’s because I’m flying first class, wearing a princess cut collar.

Carole Radziwill is a hardcore cat lover with a custom closet for her kitties ... but she also has two dogs. Baby the dog (who she shares) and Margaret, who we think is still living out in Los Angeles. Cameo on Beverly Hills, perhaps?

Baby: Don’t judge me for having three parents; be jealous that I get three times the treats.

Baby Belle: Nobody puts Baby in the corner… unless it's in the closet.

Baby Blue: There may be three babies in this house, but I am definitely no triplet. 

Margaret: I may not be called Baby, but … wait, why aren’t I called Baby? Does she not like me as much?

Sonja Morgan has a few underwear-loving poodles but just one kitty cat.

Marley: If you thought that other dog named Marley made you cry … just wait ‘til you smell my farts.

Rouge: Voulez vouz marche avec moi, ce soir?

Tigre: I may technically be a cat, but there’s a reason my name is Tigre.

Photo credit: Ramona Singer/Instagram