Gretchen: "We're getting out of town, we've got lots of penises...they're either gonna think I'm going to a porno convention, I'm a pervert, or I'm just really, really horny."

Vicki: "Every night in Puerta Vallarta is a whoop-it-up night."

Tamra: "Flashing ears, boob shots, dancing on taxi cabs. There is nobody better to party with than Vicki Gunvalson."

Lydia: "We are middle-aged women. We're pillars of the community. We are all respected, classy women. Right?"

Vicki: "This is a bachelorette party. She can drink out of more than one penis cup."

Tamra: "Bring on the penises!"