Kelly Dodd on Vicki: You Can't Teach an Old Housewife New Tricks

I know what you came here for. Don't worry! I'm not gonna waste time.

Seeing Vicki apologize to Eddie was rich. All the Bible verses and crocodile tears in the world aren't going to make up for the fact that Vicki has selective loyalty. Whoever she's in front of at any given time is who she's loyal to. Her apology to Eddie and Tamra may have come from a sincere place, but that doesn't mean she'll change her behavior. That's Vicki's problem. She's always ready to stab someone in the back if it makes things easier for herself in the moment. When confronted, she deflects. You can't teach an old Housewife new tricks.

As you heard on our phone call, I told Vicki to come by and check out my new place, and I was genuinely excited to hang out. Literally 20 minutes before she walked in the door, the story hit The Daily Mail that she had set Michael up with her friend. What weird timing! I didn't even have time to process the texts I was getting, let alone my feelings about the situation. I was honestly expecting that Vicki would clear it all up, because you can't always believe what you read in the tabloids. Instead, she showed zero remorse and dismissed my feelings completely. I was shocked!

Sure, I said in passing that I hoped Michael was dating, but for her to help him find a girlfriend crosses a line. If I had a party and Brooks or Don showed up, I would have told Vicki right away.

The truth is, I don't care who Michael dates. What really hurt was that Vicki did all of this without telling me, and I had to find out from the press. As you can tell, I was totally blindsided. And isn't it amazing how Vicki goes from her virtuous performance at lunch with Tamra to another betrayal in the span of a few hours? Just a day in the life of Vicki Gunvalson.

As a sidenote, Vicki didn't even tell me which friend she had set up with Michael on all these double dates. I was wondering, who could it be?? Later, to my surprise, I found out it was some old lady who looks like The Cat Woman. Once I knew who it was, I thought, "go for it, Michael!" If she had told me who it was, I wouldn't have reacted in the same way. I'm sorry, but Vicki broke girl code.

Before I go, I want to address the new Housewives and welcome them to the group! Meeting Emily for the first time was a little bizarre. I found it very surprising that she married her husband over Google Chat. Don't you want to test drive the car before you buy it? Gina, I liked right off the bat. She's young, pretty, smart, and fun. I have a lot of friends in New York, so I totally get her humor and personality—I love that whole New York vibe.

I thought it was awesome for Shannon that David bought her a vacation to Mexico. My ex-husband would NEVER do that for me! Maybe the next time Michael takes a trip, Vicki and Steve can go with him. Since they double date so often, maybe it's time for a swingers' retreat!