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Megan Turns 21

Tammy Knickerbocker explains why her daughter's birthday cruise was a total bust.

By Tammy Knickerbocker

Obviously Megan's birthday cruise did not turn out as expected, but nothing really does when it comes to Megan. Lindsey and I originally only intended to do something really special for Megan because turning 21 is a huge milestone in one's life. In addition, her life has been (understandably) strained since the loss of her father this year, and we wanted to do whatever we could to make it a beautiful night for her and have a good time. Lindsey baked cupcakes for Megan along with her little brother Ryley. Lindsey and I also went shopping for three days trying to find twenty-one presents for Megan. We put them all in cute little bags with numbers. Megan had already had her night out at Johnny's, so the sunset cruise was intended to be just for Megan's close GIRLfriends to enjoy a nice girly "champagne and hors d'oeuvres party" while cruising in beautiful Newport Beach harbor. How it veered into the catastrophe that was portrayed began when Megan called me on the way over to the yacht and requested to bring two of her best male friends with her. She said if they could come it would mean a lot to her. I said "OK" with the understanding that that was it, just the two, and since I knew the boys in question, I assumed it would be fine. When Megan showed up, the two boys that I had agreed upon were with her. However, within a few minutes the two had somehow multiplied to include five more that were suddenly boarding. I was actually not supposed to be there (only to decorate the boat with Lindsey and then let Megan enjoy her night with friends) but when I saw the boys on board I told Megan that I was staying on board, but I would remain up top and out of her way. I was definitely very nervous, but it was only a two-hour cruise, so what could possibly happen?

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I guess you all get the picture by now, it turned out to be a complete disaster, and I was very hurt and upset about what took place. I don't even know what to say. I know that Megan tried to stop the cake throwing to no avail, and things pretty much escalated into further ugliness at that point.

For Megan to get drunk on her twenty-first birthday was not a smart thing. I really hoped that she would remember her twenty-first birthday as being a beautiful night, and realize that her sister and mother cared and loved her so much that we went out of our way to make her happy. Instead, I am sorry for Megan's sake that she will not remember a lot of things that night, but hopefully will learn from this experience to make better decisions in her life. I hope that while she is on her own, working full-time and going to online school at night, that responsibility will set in and she will at least find less time for wasting her life away on such pursuits. Megan is an amazing girl with so many talents. I think that the pressure of bridging her way into full adulthood, combined with the challenging past that she carries is difficult for her, as it is for many young women. I am also spending a lot of time working with her on her burgeoning business,, so fortunately I get to see her quite a bit still. She does have a very busy schedule these days but still finds time to spend at home with her brother, Ryley, whom she adores. Lindsey and I have a lot in common. We love baking, shopping, cooking, crafts, and just having fun. Since Lindsey is back home living with Ryley and I, we spend a lot of time together. Plus, since she is involved with also in fashion and designing clothes, which is a passion of hers, I do get to see her everyday. Lindsey has a great eye for clothing, and she is very unique and discriminating about what she likes — basically a gift. I want to also take this time to thank everyone who has written to Lindsey about her clothes. She is very touched and really finds it sweet to hear positive feedback about her style.

I don't have a boyfriend at this time. I am concentrating on my kids and getting my life together. I was dating a great guy, but with all the drama in our lives it just became too difficult for both of us and we chose to part ways romantically. Who knows, maybe some day we will get back together and live happily ever after! But sometimes, you just need to step back and take a serious look at your life and where you are going first before you merge into someone else's journey.

I am at a point where life is good, and I am happy (despite the edited dramatic moments you see on TV). My company is doing well, the girls are doing much better, and Ryley is the glue that really keeps us all together. He makes us remember that life can be good, that it is what you make out of it, and not to let people influence you or judge you. Ultimately it is YOUR life, so live and learn. But most of all — live it!

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