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A Lighter Side

Hear from the Real Husband of Orange County about the dramatic season so far!

By Simon Barney


How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of Orange County on  Peacock and the Bravo App.

Episode 1

As you see from our first episode, there seems to be a lot of tension between Tamra and me. Like all married couples, we have our ups and downs. Unfortunately for dramatic purposes the downs will be on the show this season. Let’s start with my daughter's red carpet party. I have always asked Tamra to be careful of what she says on camera for the kids and my sake. However, she seems to do the opposite when the cameras roll. But I guess it makes good TV. She really is the most wonderful person when she is not hamming it up for the show. I can’t tell you how many times I hear people say to her, "You're not what I expected. You are so nice and sweet." I've gotten a lot of emails about the first episode. Most of them are very supportive about having morals and protecting my family. But there have been a few asking if I’m unhappy, and why don't I ever smile. Well, as I said before, this show is about drama. And I happen to be upset 5% of the time at the party. And that is what you saw. However, you do see me smiling and laughing when we ran out of water. I'm told we will see a lighter side of my personality this year. Let's hope that is true.

Now, let’s talk about the comments Tamra and Ricky were making about T-bagging. I felt it was not appropriate for any venue with children. Not to mention that black box with a lens on it that records it to the world (camera). For the record, Ricky is a wonderful person and father, and was caught in one of those 5% moments. Welcome to our world according to reality TV.

Addressing Vicki comments about me being controlling. Yes it’s true. "Self-controlling." I have learned over the years that you can't control or change anyone but yourself. I do find it funny when Vicki calls me controlling. Isn't that like "the pot calling the kettle black"? And you know my wife, and you know me. If I was really controlling, she would have never said or done half the things she did the last few seasons. Am I protective? Hell yes. I would give my life to protect my wife and kids. And people who know me know that to be true.

My next scene is before Lynne’s trunk show. I was very nervous for my wife before she left for Lynne's party. I knew she did not want all the drama that had happened with her and Gretchen the year before to resurface. Contrary to public opinion, Tamra does not like all the confrontation and hostility we saw last year. As her husband, I wanted to protect her that night, but knew she had to go alone. I thought she handled herself very well. She was texting me the whole time, and wanted to leave many times. At one point she asked me to come pick her up. She had enough of the BS. You have no idea what my poor wife has through this past year. And as her husband, it was very hard to me to see her go through it. Like she says, don't involve me.


Episode 2

Wow. Can you say get Shorty... I mean Simon! WOW! Even Tamra got in a few shots. I felt like Donn back in Season 4. Normally the comments my wife made during her interviews would upset me. But this is TV, and it wouldn't be the same without the controversy. Tamra knows the real me, and that's all that matters.

Vicki seems like she is going after me this season in the first two episodes. I see a trend here. Attacking Tamra and me for supposedly sitting at home, doing nothing. Vicki knows I have another company besides the Tequila business, and a full-time job. I don’t have time to sit around. I kept my work away from the cameras because of past issues. My boss at the Mercedes-Benz store used to get threatening calls about employing someone on a show like RHOC. People are strange sometimes. So this year, I kept my job quiet from the viewers. And the funny thing is that Vicki is aware of my other job/company and also knows how hard I work. Hell, Donn has been to my office a few times for lunch this year. Whatever. Like I said, "you can’t change anyone but yourself." For the record, I don't think I'm always right. You can never learn or grow if you feel you know or have all the answers.

I also want to clarify that I’m not upset when Tamra leaves town, however I do miss her when she gone and can’t sleep very well. Is it just me, or is this season shaping up as "Simon the Terrible Control Freak Strikes the OC?" Yes, that's me. I control every move my wife makes, including all of the embarrassing moments from past seasons. All my idea. All those things she said about our private sex life. Mine too. I love to personally humiliate myself. It’s the masochism in me. Do the math people! I love my wife and kids, and do the best I can to protect them. If that's a crime, then I'm guilty.

Well, I hope I did OK for my first blog ever. This season should be a roller coaster ride. See you soon.

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