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Call It What You Want

Simon talks about his relationship and defends his so-called "controlling" behavior.

By Simon Barney

 

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of Orange County on  Peacock and the Bravo App.

This week we see Lynne getting a face lift, and personally, I didn't think she needed it. But as always, Dr. Ambe did a wonderful job. Dr. Ambe is actually Tamra’s doctor and the only plastic surgeon I trust with her. So Lynn was in good hands when Tamra referred her.

Wow! It's back to trashing Simon this week - all cast members report. I received so many calls and emails from my friends the night this episode aired. They all said the same thing. Have you changed, that's not you! That's right - it's not me. I seemed to be labeled controlling by the story teller this season. I have often heard that the camera doesn't lie. Well I guess it was lying the previous season when my wife did whatever she wanted, and I never said a word. Unfortunately people have judged me personally and professionally for what they saw from her the first two years on a drama-related show. So this year I decided to protect my family and myself. My wife going on a girls trip with the housewives? Hmmm? Last year the girls all went to Las Vegas, and the year before San Diego. Sadly, in Vegas Vicki ended up in a very compromising position with some guy she met while out in a night club. Fortunately Donn an Vicki prevailed and are still together. But I can’t afford to have something like that to happen to me and my family. I have three innocent children to think about. So this year I am protective. And if you want to call it controlling, so be it.

The phone call between Vicki and Tamra about the Florida trip was interesting. My wife and I don't get to take vacations together much, especially with the kids, school, and work. So that is why when we get the chance, we go somewhere together and rekindle our relationship. I would have no problem if my wife was going out of the town with a group of girls with good martial values (excluding Lynne and Alexis) and without the staff egging them on to misbehave. Vicki and Donn vacation alone all the time. That seems to work for them. Through the years we have had many married friends that take separate girls or guys trips apart. To tell the truth, most of them committed adultery and are divorced now. I would be devastated if my wife was away on camera and in a bar somewhere telling some man, "My girls want to come out and play."

We next see Gretchen and Slade going to motorcycle class. As a rider for 36 years, I was glad to see them take this course. Riding is very dangerous if you don't know what you are doing. However, I thought Gretchen’s flirting was inappropriate to her boyfriend who is in the room. I guess I'm old fashioned and Slade is a bigger man than me.

Golf! What can I say? Golfing is a very difficult sport. But in front of a camera, impossible. My hat goes off to the PGA players with all the cameras and spectators. We had a blast and laughed all day. The day soon slipped into a conversation about an upcoming Florida trip. Donn was very vocal about not being invited. He was right, Vicki did not invite him. I guess he forgot about the cell phone conversation I had with him from La Perla a week before. I called him from there to see why he didn’t show to the lingerie show. I then told him about all of us going to Florida and said he better be coming. Vicki happened to be next to me and sounded in, "He’s not invited." Back at the golf course, you can see I was defending Donn at the club house. Not once did I say their relationship wasn't normal. Donn and I have had many conversations about this exact thing over the years. I know how he really feels.

 

Tamra getting back to real estate is great. I thought she handled herself at the open house well. I am very proud of her no matter what she does. I will always support her in any direction she wants to go. Love you babe!

The dinner with Donn and Vicki to me looked awkward. Discussing Tamra and my marriage instead of enjoying themselves. This is where I have had the problem with Vicki as of late. For years she has told Tamra how she should act and treat me. I would only hope Vicki and Donn had more pressing information on their minds to discuss during dinner conversation than our marriage. This year, Vicki has stepped it up a little. She is now telling me how I should be in my marriage and with my wife. That’s where I draw the line. Her and Donn have their own unique relationship and it works for them. I don’t want Donn's life or marriage. Maybe when Tamra and I get to their age and our kids are out of the house we might do the same. For now, there are 80k reasons why I don’t have Vicki's relationship.

Gretchen and Tamra’s lunch! Wow! This so overplayed and old. I don't know about all of you, but I'm tired of this horse, stop beating it, it's DEAD! A final observation about Gretchen at lunch. I've notice when she is caught being deceptive, she has this certain look on her face. Her mouth gets small and pulls down on her cheeks. Her eyes really tell it all. It's the same look she had when she was on the reunion show last year. Hmmm?

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