Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Another week has flown by and here we are again hopefully making your Sunday night interesting and fun!

This was a very hard episode for me to watch. The past three and a half years of living with postpartum depression has been the toughest thing in my life to get through. When I was asked by my actress friend Tanya to take part in a documentary about postpartum, I immediately accepted with the hope that my experiences could help other women out there. Make sure to look for the documentary. Hopefully it will be out in the next few months! It is called When The Bough Breaks. I knew making it a part of the show could help bring more much needed attention to a serious problem that easily gets ignored and not treated with proper care. I had some really dark days, and watching myself describe these days made me feel like I was crazy at times and made me hurt for my children that I was so angry, short tempered, easily overwhelmed, and depressed. At times I had drastic thoughts of not being here for for my family and that they would be better off without me.

It was so tough on Micah as well. When I heard his comments about what I went through, it made me so sad, because he is such an amazing husband and Dad, and he felt there was nothing he could do to help me and even felt like he could never make me happy. I'm so lucky that he never gave up hope on us working through this! The first year I was going through it I was in complete denial and looking back it was like I was in a fog. I finally had everything I had wanted, a great husband and amazing children, but I felt as if nothing was ever enough to make me happy. It was as if I never had enough of anything, but now being healthier I realize it isn't about getting enough of something, but rather having a different frame of mind! Now that I've come out of the fog, I am focusing on taking each day as it comes and realizing every moment is a gift. I am also putting my energy into now developing healthy, meaningful friendships that are not competitive or superficial, but supportive and sharing of similar interests and paths for the future! Stay tuned to my website at www.peggytanous.com for my tips on battling postpartum without prescription medication.

Watching Tamra and Vicki in Cabo was hilarious! Loved the scene of them trying to figure out what they do first, lick the salt or suck the tequila! Can you say blonds! It was great they healed their friendship while whooping it up! Vicki was milking the whole apology thing a bit, but it was funny! I couldn't believe how much the guy at the pool looked like Vicki's husband Donn! He could have been his brother! Watching Tamra do the body shot was more proof that being with Eddie really allows her to be herself and not feel guilty about it.

Seeing Gretchen talk to both Alexis and her father about marrying Slade made me think about what I had always heard, when you know you know and you won't question it. I didn't think I believed this until I met Micah! Literally after our second date he was telling me we would get married one day, and I never doubted him or got freaked out by it. My sister told me on our wedding day she knew Micah was the one for me because he was the first guy I never questioned my feelings for. With other boyfriends I would constantly call her and question my feelings or rationalize if I should be with them or not. This was my experience however, and there are no rules with love, so if Gretchen and Slade are happy, that is what matters! I feel it's whatever works best for you. If she wants a "lease" and wants to have a baby out of wedlock, so be it! She needs to do what's right for her and not society.

And finally onto my family's Palm Springs trip! I was so excited to get out of town with the girls and relax for the weekend. I couldn't believe right when we settled in at the pool Capri cut her finger. We all know accidents happen, but I was so upset they had put a glass frame on the bed and even more so that we had not noticed it was glass. We assumed it was plastic. Lesson learned. Never assume and make sure to check everything more carefully when the babies are with us. London would never have grabbed that frame, but Capri is my curious wild child! As you could see my anxiety from the postpartum kicked in full force, but Micah stayed so calm and was so great in taking care of the situation. He suggested I stay at the pool with London so she wouldn't be at the hospital and possibly be scared or bored, and I'm really glad we did! When he got to the hospital, obviously the doctor didn't say stitches would be ridiculous, but Micah knew my anxiety was bad, so he told me that to make sure I remained calm and so I knew that Capri was just fine.

Later that evening, we had a fun family dinner with Micah's dad who lives out there and his older sister and her son. Micah and his dad have only had a relationship for the past seven and a half years, so it was a really nice evening. Micah's father is very handsome and rather eccentric. He used to be a well known fine artist and had a gallery of his own work in Brentwood. He also had a very successful design firm and was responsible for Ralph Lauren's polo pony logo, Lamborghini, Meguiars car polish, and many more. Now you know where Micah gets his talent from! I wish you all could have seen this dinner to learn more about our family.

Well I won't drag this out anymore. Thanks for reading my blog! Until next week!

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