Sorry I have been MIA for a couple of weeks, things have been just so crazy lately and I have been traveling a lot for work. However I do receive and read all your messages every week through social media and my personal website so thank you for the support and love you continue to show me every week!
I will recap how I feel about some things from the last couple of episodes here:
So grateful Briana does not have cancer! It's one of the worst things as a parent to learn about your child. God knows Slade knows that all too well. Unfortunately seeing this footage reminds me all too well what a hypocrite Vicki is -- again. She was so quick to judge me and say, "Why am I choosing to be on a show when I have someone that is sick in my life?" Yet, once again, when the tables are turned it's OK for her. I just don't get her consistent hypocrisy. Even more so, I just don't get how she can never see it herself. I would never wish what Slade and I have been dealt on any one. However as a human, I do find it difficult in these moments to find empathy for people like Vicki who have been so mean and vile to me when I was going through the worst time in my life when I was losing Jeff. She always expects everyone to stop and feel bad for her, but she has never once shown empathy towards Slade or my situations, only judgment and false accusations. However my parents taught me differently, so I will not treat her the way she treated me back then.
I think taking a helicopter to L.A. was fabulous and very "Fancy Pants" of Heather! She did not let me down! I think it's great that Heather wants to start a business with her friends, but I also know from experience that it can be very challenging. It can sometimes ruin friendships, so you have to weigh If that is worth it. I do however hate how Vicki is always so quick to put down everyone's ideas and never is empowering to other women. Why is that? She has talked poorly about so many of our business ventures; for instance mine, Lynn, Alexis, Jeana (as a realtor), and now Heather. I just find that so discouraging. I believe in lifting woman up and empowering them. You can educate and give advice without being demeaning. Vicki saying "these women just want a place to hang out so they can spend their husband's money" was not nice and unnecessary.
Obviously plastic surgery is very serious and not something to take lightly, because as you can see from Alexis' surgery there are a lot of negative side effects and pain. I am sooo glad I never decided to get my nose done, sinus issues or not. It just does not look fun! I sincerely did not think Alexis needed to get her nose done. I think she looked beautiful before and the bump gave her some personality. I even thought I had convinced her not to do it last summer!
Now for the record and for all those who keep wondering why I didn't come see Alexis right away, it's because when I called I was told she was not up for it yet! I am a little bothered that, even after Alexis and I discussed this issue, she continues to act like she is all butt-hurt about it. It makes me wonder why she is playing that card, when it we have already discussed exactly what happened those first few days. This continues to be a reoccurring theme with her this season and the reason for some issues between us. So here is exactly how it went down: Alexis went into surgery Monday, and she did not want company that day, as I had asked her before her surgery if she would be up for it and she said probably not until a couple days afterwards. Then I called the day after her surgery (Tuesday) and spoke with Jim because she wasn't doing well. I asked if I could come over, and he said she was not up to it yet. Then Wednesday I already had prior work appointments all day (because I wasn't just sitting around waiting to get a phone call as to when I could come over to see her). So finally on Thursday is when I was "allowed" and when my schedule allowed me to come over.
I am not sure why the hell I even have to explain this one, but I guess I do because I am annoyed that I keep getting challenged as to if I am a good enough friend or not do to this. Last time I checked, I didn't see anyone else show up to visit either Tamra or Alexis after their surgeries (bearing gifts mind you). Remind me, how is that being a bad friend again? And even more so, does it matter what day it is? Shouldn't it be the thought and effort that counts? Since when does your level of friendship get judged on this kind of scale? I feel like this kind of behavior and cattiness is very childish and high school drama like. As you will see, I just don't want friends like that anymore in my life. A true friend would just know where my heart is. If they constantly challenge it, after a while you get over it. I have very close girlfriends from high school and college who I'm lucky if I see once every six months, and the quality of our friendship has never wavered, nor have they ever challenged that friendship.
The mud run was a blast and it was a great and different idea from Tamra! I was super bummed that I could not finish, because I just love things like that! I grew up riding dirt bikes and being a tomboy so that was right up my alley! Slade was such a sweet guy to carry me across the finish line and stay behind to take care of me, he always says to me "never leave your wing man." I love that man!
Now to this week's episode:
Heather saying it's never good for a friendship to talk about one's mate seems absolutely true! However how does one let a friend know if they have concerns about the person they are dating without hurting their feelings? What responsibility do we have as friends to point out some red flags? I have loving wonderful friends that have done that for me in the past, and I am grateful they did. I think it's all in the delivery.
When I see Brooks eating with Vicki it made me extremely weary watching him ask Vicki about all her assets and what she is walking away with. Something just seemed off to me about that. Again, was it in the delivery? I really like Brooks and he has been nothing but sweet to me, but I have to agree with Tamra that something is just a little too perfect with everything he says and does. I've had those kinds of people come in my life when I was the most vulnerable, and it is scary how someone can take advantage of you when you are in a weak place. It concerned me with Brooks and later on this season you will see me address my concerns face-to-face. . .
Speaking of Brooks and Vicki I would not be human if I didn't point out how unbelievable it was to me that Vicki said "Brooks is a consultant and can make his own hours." Isn't that exactly how I explained what Slade's job was? Once again how is it OK when it's Brooks but, when it's Slade he is a dead-beat and needs to get a job? And for the record Slade does have a flipping job for the nine hundred millionth time! So please ladies stop making false statements about that. For goodness sakes, I guess we have to show them his paystubs every month for them to believe it!
Alexis doing her segment for Fox Five as super hard to watch. Yikes! I was actually a little uncomfortable for her and wanted her to be doing better, but I also know how nerve-racking it can be to do anything new. I actually came over and watched some of the segment with her and gave her the advice to go to a hosting coach to help craft that skill better. Live TV is hard no matter what way you slice it! You have to give her kudos for just going for it! However leave it to Alexis to make me laugh out loud when she said she "I'm using both brains." I didn't even know we had two brains. Now we get to my singing segment. Quite honestly for as bad as my vocals were I don't think I sounded that horrible. I know, I know you all are going to tell me how much I sucked and that I shouldn't quite me day job, but I don't care. Quite frankly it took guts to even allow cameras to film this whole process and the trials and tribulations I went through for this performance.
Look, I know I am not a trained singer, nor do I claim to be Christina Aguilera. I simply was offered a great opportunity and I went for it, and that is a lot more than most can say! I could of chickened out and walked away knowing I would get ridiculed by some and that you would see my worst most vulnerable moments, but I choose to stick it out and allow you to see the good, bad, and the ugly.
I had definitely damaged my vocal cords yelling at Vicki and I even went to Dr. Nasseri in Beverly Hills, who if you are a professional musician (including Miss Kristin Chenoweth) you will more than likely know exactly who this man is. He has worked with the top and helped them heal their damaged vocal cords. He confirmed that I had damaged them pretty bad, and was actually very lucky I didn't rupture them. He also said during that exam that he could tell that I was the real deal and had some pipes on me. This coming from a renowned doctor with every album under the sun hung on his office walls. I wish the cameras had been there for that! However I have to say that the funniest part of that whole scene is when they show the dog squealing at the end as if he was right outside the door! However I did laugh at that one!
Now to the bowling party! Oh boy! Many of you have sent me a lot of sweet messages about this and said I handled myself with class and grace and I truly appreciate that because that was a very difficult night for me. I was so torn between being there for my friend and also knowing that she was not letting it go when she needed to. Vicki saying that I sent Sarah over to her is ridiculous and just goes to show that Vicki always thinks the worst of me. I love Sarah and I know she meant well. She was having a hard day and probably shouldn't have come that night. I seriously have never seen her like she was that night. That was not my normal friend. I was disappointed in the way it all went down, and no matter what I did I felt like I could not win in that situation.
Ultimately, I am just relieved I took the high road, stayed calm, and did not allow any of it to escalate. I had to focus on what my priorities were (my performance) and I could not let another petty fight like that cause me more grief. The part that is most mind-boggling to me in the entire scene is when Slade is the only one that comes over to help Vicki up after she fell. Finally you get to see a glimpse of the real Slade! He is always like this with woman from what I have experienced in the three years of being with him. The only time I have ever seen him be different than that towards a woman is when these women attacked him over and over again claiming horrible things about who he is as a father. That would push any man who adores his children over the edge. There is only so much one is expected to take. You can't keep dishing it out and be surprised when it comes back at you.
Slade is an extremely courteous man and always has been with every single woman in my immediate life. All my very close friends adore him and constantly rave to me how lucky I am to have such a great guy. My mom and my grandma adore him as well, so how bad can he actually be if all the people in my life say he is a keeper? These women seem to be the only women that have something bad to say about him -- not to mention that I get a lot of people questioning me. But what I find so funny about it is that they always preface it with "you are such a smart intelligent woman." If you really believe that then you know I wouldn't be with a man unless he treated me right and was good to me. Finances are not the key to happiness. Being in love with your best friend and having a partner that supports, adores, and loves you like you have never been loved before is what is most important. I appreciate that you guys think you know what is best for me, but you actually don't and you certainly don't get to see the full story in the short five minutes you see of Slade every week. So please stop trying to convince me that he is not right for me, because it will not work and you are wasting your breath! It's been three years and it hasn't worked yet. If you haven't noticed I am deathly loyal and will have someone's back to the death if they deserve it.
Again, a lot of you keep telling me in these posts below that I am "smart and intelligent," so remember that when you continue to see the decisions I make about everyone in this group throughout this season. You might not see all the reasons behind my decisions and wonder why at times, but know that I am smart and intelligent and can see through the BS. I am sure by the end of this season most of you will too.
Always enjoy talking with you guys on Twitter.com and Facebook.com. If you haven't already, I invite you to come join my pages so we can talk! Also, all new Gretchen Christine make-up is coming in this week for all of those that have been waiting for it! We have some great new Bling available as well on the site! So be sure to check it all out GretchenChristine.com
Till next time!