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We Are All to Blame

Tamra addresses the Gretchen/Slade situation, her relationship with Eddie, and her friendship style.

I am a week behind on my blog so here's a two-fer!

Last week's painting party was a lot of fun. I was not feeling very well, and after watching the episode, I'm wondering if chomping on that gum was making me feel better. . .because it made me nauseous just watching.

Heather did a great job putting together a fabulous party, and what an original idea. I was laughing so hard watching her call everyone. . . "What, What. . . painting party?" She really did put so much detail into planning the party all the way down to the carb-less meal. Thank you fancy pants.

I knew from the first night that Alexis laid eyes on Heather, there were going to be problems. I knew by her body language and the way she looked at Heather. Boy was I right!

Alexis seems to put down Heather ever chance she can. I have a feeling we will be seeing much more of this behavior from Alexis. Alexis is extremely materialistic and wishes she had everything Heather has. First thing that came out of her mouth at lunch was "I want that purse, I'm going to steal that purse."

After Alexis and Vicki started mocking Gretchen and I about becoming friends, we decided to lay it on thick -- throwing out the BFF word to shut them up. It was all in good fun and Vicki knew we were joking. Gretchen and I have worked very hard to patch things up, and if Vicki and Alexis have problems with it, oh well. I have room in my life for more than one BFF. I have never turned my back on Vicki or put Gretchen before my five-year friendship with Vicki. It made me sad when Vic wrote in her blog that I can only have one friend at a time, since it is the farthest thing from the truth. NEWS ALERT: I am great friends with Heather, Peggy, Lynne, and (I thought) Vicki.

It was the first time we all got to meet Terry, aka Dr. Look Good, (BTW. . .No that was not him at the lot in Newport). Dr. Terry Dubrow has a wonderful reputation around town and I remembered seeing him on the show The Swan. You will soon find that the dynamic between Heather and Terry is very entertaining and very loving. Terry jokes (like me) about 90 percent of the time, Heather is sensitive, has probably heard the same jokes for 13 years, and tends to roll her eyes a lot. They are so much fun to be around and so down to earth.

Gretchen meeting me at CJ's new store called X & OH. That turned out to be pretty entertaining and educational.CJ had just opened up her business and we wanted to show our support. There was nothing weird or kinky about it, just friends supporting friends. I am in the middle of opening up my own fitness studio and I know how much work is put into being a small business owner. I am very proud of you CJ!

I was so excited to see our dog Bronx in this week's episode. He has brought so much joy to our lives. Bronx is a pit bull and one of the sweetest and smartest dogs I have ever had. But he does tend to mark is territory much more than most!

My walk/talk with Eddie about moving in was a total surprise to me. It was really hard at the time to think a wonderful man like Eddie would want to take on me and my three kids full-time after 18 months of dating. Eddie is an amazing, kind-hearted man, and loves me unconditionally. But I don't think we were ready to move in just yet. When I have my kids, I stay at my house and Eddie never spends the night. When the kids are with dad, I stay at Eddie's, which means I have personal belongings all over the place. . .and there's a bit of confusion at times.

Slade's stand up brings mixed emotions for me since things with Gretchen are so much better this year. The battle between me, Gretchen, Slade, and Vicki has been going on for years and it is by far not one sided. I don't like the fact that Slade is acting like the victim, as if our "accusations" ruined his life. He is just as much to blame. His stand up is a perfect example of the things that have happened to put a wedge in our friendship through out the years. I am not condoning any of what has gone on between us. We were all to blame for this long and hurtful fight. We are all responsible for our own actions. I was just hoping that when me and Gretchen started patching things up that Slade would lay off a little. I guess it is going to take him some time to get to that point?

I actually felt sorry for Gretchen, you could see on her face that she was not happy that Slade went against her wishes. I know it caused a lot of problems between everyone. I'm sure it did with them too. The big questions is "Why weren't Vicki and I invited?' I think we all know the answer to that question! On the flipside, I know he was doing stand-up comedy and I have yet to see a comedian that isn't ripping on someone just to get a laugh. . .but I didn't hear much laughing going on that night! I think Slade's mom should have been on stage. She cracks me up.

One thing that I don't like is when men degrade woman about their looks. No one is perfect. So many woman are insecure and battle eating disorders and have plastic surgery because they have been put down by men. NO COOL!

At dinner Eddie understood and encouraged me to find my independence, financial freedom, and take the time it took to figure out what I wanted to do with my life next. We also decided to spend more family time together with the kids to get everyone ready for the next step.

Fitness was one of the things that helped me through my divorce. I have always worked out and used to be a trainer back in my younger days. But during my divorce I took it to another level. I started running. It was my time to get inside my head and reflect on what I was going through emotionally. Most days while running I would be crying my eyes out, not even acknowledging that I was on Mile 6. I was too busy sorting out my feelings to feel the pain in my legs. Before I knew it people were coming up to me and saying, "Wow you look great!" My love of working out has inspired me to open up my own group fitness studio. I want to encourage other men and woman to get fit from the inside out. I know that you can't run from your problems, but there are an emotional and physical benefits from trying.

If working out is not your thing (I bet it is if you give it a chance), then how about a glass of wine. Vicki and I are the first Housewives to come together and start a business that gives back to women. is a celebrity wine of the month club that gives a percentage of our proceeds to charity for woman. Support my Breast Cancer charity by signing up for my wine choices.

Tamra Barney

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