We have finally made it to the finale episode. I think the Bali trip was hard on everyone. I was so happy to finally be back home with my family and people that I know love and support me. I thought it was very nice that Vicki wanted to have a party to celebrate our trip and to share the good times with our men.
After the final dinner in Bali, I really made a decision to dismiss Tamra from my life. I have never in my life heard a woman say such horrible things to other women before. It's interesting to hear Heather say to Christian at the dinner table on tonight's episode, how "everyone was yelling at Tamra" in Bali. Were we at the same table? I didn’t hear anyone yell at Tamra at the last dinner in Bali. In fact I think the only woman yelling was Tamra. We were all genuinely hurt and defending ourselves. It didn't have to end the way it did.
My goal for the dinner party at Vicki's was to try and have a good time and stay away from Tamra. I honestly had nothing left to say to her. She does not tell the truth and she does not handle conflict well. I really didn't feel like getting my personal life bashed by someone that knows nothing about me. My husband rarely, if ever, gets involved in any of this drama. But I have to say he was really upset that Terry wasn't truthful about the "marry, shag, kill" game.
My husband, Joe and Danielle seem to be the only ones that are being honest about what happened and what was said the night of the Valentine’s party.
Of course, Tamra brings up the "Marry, Shag, Kill" game yet again! There is nothing else to say, but "I'm sorry" for whatever she thinks I said or didn't say. It's a crazy he said/she said and no one can possibly win -- and who wants to? The fact that NOW, she brings up another thing about the game, is like, what? And of course, she repeats this wrong too. I chose to "marry" Eddie (not shag) in the game so we could have Mexican/Italian babies. Christian and I talk about having another baby all the time so my brain is on that track. It wasn't meant to be anything but playful. We all gave reasons. Tamra chose to marry Dr. Dubrow because he was "loaded" (rich), shag Christian because he’s hot and because she likes his messy hair, and to kill Brooks (who wasn’t even there) because she dislikes him so much. I am starting to feel like that ridiculous game was a set-up. The game wasn't my idea and why is EVERYTHING I said during the game is now being looked at under a microscope? It's starting to seem suspicious to me. Was the game a ploy to cause drama?
Furthermore, I would have never thought that I was trying to hurt Tamra and her situation. I look at Tamra and see someone with a cup half full. She has four kids and now having grandkids. I see her in a different stage in her life. Looking on the bright side here, maybe everyone will know I like Mexicans! I think they are beautiful.
I can't walk around on eggshells for another person. I don't have the power to change anyone, nor do I want to. I get to be me. Tamra gets to be Tamra. However, I get to make decisions on how I let people affect me -- and I get to decide who or what I want in my life. I forgive Tamra. I forgive myself. I choose to be around people that love and support one another. Conflict is OK. It's even OK to lose your temper here and there. But when the behavior becomes habitual without remorse, you have to make a conscious decision about what you allow in your life.
After the final dinner I reached out to Tamra regarding her custody battle. As a mother I felt the need to support her. We are all in this life together. We made a bit of amends and both shared what we were hurt over in Bali. We even talked about getting together with our hubbies. But that didn't last for long, as you'll see at the Reunion.
I am sorry for what Tamra is going through in her life; I just don’t think it’s a good excuse to hurt other people. We all go through hard times. I am a very forgiving person. I forgive two or three or more times than necessary. However there comes a time when you damage a relationship beyond repair and the things that have happened in the past few weeks are reprehensible. Will I forgive Tamra? Yes and I have. However, I don't foresee a friendship with her.
I hope you all enjoyed the season. Stay tuned for the Reunion!