I have to say that when I started filming RHOC I knew it was not going to be "the Shannon Beador show" -- that I was going to be shown in both positive and negative lights. I also understood that despite multiple hours of filming, there would only be a few moments shown on the screen. Everyone in our family tends to joke with each other, but often times on film it doesn't appear very funny. And now for week two, I find that some of my not-so-proudest moments have been chosen to air. What is different from last week, however, is that there is a little bit of backstory to explain some of my behavior! Let’s begin!
I love the fact that my children go to cotillion. You may not have picked up on this yet, but I am very old school. I love most things that are traditional and old-fashioned. To watch my girls do the cha cha cha and box step in their party shoes and white gloves is the most darling thing ever!
David and I come from a different background. I am proud of David that he has achieved so much success in his life, all on his own, and that I have been privileged to witness it. He always tells me that he feels a sense of accomplishment when he can expose our children to things he wasn't able to experience as a child. Stella feels bad that she told her dad that he didn't have good manners. She certainly didn't mean it and both David and I thought it was quite sweet that she apologized after seeing the episode (as did I for laughing along).
I finally met all of the women at Tamra's spooky party! I asked Heather whether it was a costume party and she said that she was just going to be wearing black. I was surprised to see her "third eye," and had I known people were going to be dressed in a "spooky" way I absolutely would have done more than wear a black dress!
I felt a bit awkward at first because as soon as Heather and I entered the party, she went right up to Vicki and Tamra and I was left standing there. When everyone went to sit down, she sat on the other end with the gals while I sat by myself. If the tables were turned, I would have stayed with Heather, but I am a big girl and can take care of myself! I instantly connected with Vicki and had an amazing time with her! Tamra seems like lots of fun as well!
I am an open book and am proud of that fact. I don’t think that by telling a group of women that I wish my husband and I spent more time together is airing any marital dirty laundry. I may be going out on a limb, but I am pretty sure there are many women out there that have been married for 14 years that wish for the same thing. My husband is extremely busy and I have been completely supportive throughout our marriage of his need to work long hours and on weekends. But when he joined a business group and started to take two vacations a year with them, I began to get resentful. If he could take the time for those trips, why couldn’t he take just one night away with me? I have been asking him to do this for five years now, and it has been hurtful that an effort hasn’t been made. I understand that I could make the reservations and plan something myself; I just want to know that David wants to take me away by his own decision, not mine.
Tonight you got a peek into some of the feng shui cures I have around the house. Elaine Wright, our feng shui consultant, has done wonders for us. When Sophie was three-years-old, Elaine moved her bed to a different location and Sophie was able to finally sleep through the night. There will be more on Elaine and my love affair with feng shui in episodes to come!
I am intrigued by all things holistic. When my dentist offered to put jewels inside my crown restorations, I did it. What is interesting is that when I had a thermographer examine me, they typically can tell you which teeth have had root canals. After my exam, he could not detect the root canals that had jewels in them. They are not visible and I can't imagine how they could possibly harm me at all. Maybe they are actually helping…
I have to say that I agree with Tamra that it is not very kind to refer to someone as "people like you" or "someone like that." If I choose to live my life more naturally than others, then it is my choice. I also try to maintain a balance. I am not obsessive about doing everything in my life the most natural way and I actually do quite a bit of research before taking on anything new.
Heather is quite opinionated about my decisions to try holistic things. She also seems to be strongly opinionated in Tamra's discussion about potentially having another child. I never interpreted Tamra's words to mean that she wanted to have a child to "fill a hole" or "replace" her three children. I heard her saying that she wanted to share something special with her new husband. The warning flags on Heather have been raised…And now onto the uncomfortable stuff. I would like to start this off by saying that David and I actually do get along and can have a good time together. You clearly have not seen that yet. David and I have always had a very sarcastic banter between each other, but it just doesn't seem as playful anymore. My resentment for not being made a priority has clearly turned me into a more bitter person. Hence, some explanation into why I am not always the cheeriest person to come home to. (Check - need to work on that!)
I was excited for David to meet the women and their husbands. We pride ourselves on being a bit more down-to-earth, so oftentimes we will cook when we have dinner parties for 12 and under. David cooks the meat and torches the crème brulee if that is the dessert we are serving (I am afraid of the torch!) and I do everything else. Anyone can hire a caterer. I believe that when you spend the day cooking, the meal comes from the heart.
I am high adrenaline most of the time. I want everything to go smoothly, but most of the time it does not. My potatoes were not tender even though I was very clear that they needed to be before being taken out of the oven. Our entire family made the crème brulee the night before and David told me he checked the torch for fuel, but he never actually did. He told me he was going to torch the crème brulee right before the guests came and it didn’t happen.
We discussed the wine -- we needed to buy multiple bottles of wine the night before and David came home with only two bottles. Understandably I was frustrated, but there are ways to express frustration and then there are ways not to. My behavior falls under the second category. I need to be calmer. I need to stop snapping. I need to understand that some men may not even help for a minute in the kitchen and get over the fact that David didn't actually do things he said he did.
I love my husband and appreciate him and need to express those things more. I am human and everyone makes mistakes, but it is how you interpret and correct your faults that really matters. I am on a quest for more inner peace. Stay tuned to see if I can get there! Another week of total self-evaluation. Yikes!
I am so grateful that this show is giving me the opportunity to watch my life played back and to learn all the many things I need to work on (and the list is growing!!!). Talk to you next week -- hoping it will be more fun (and easier) to watch! XOXO