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Ashley Darby: She Isn’t Truly a Friend to Me

"It is really hard for me to understand Candiace’s aggressiveness about the status of my uterus."

By Ashley Darby
The 'Wives Learn all About Cooking in New Orleans What were your feelings heading into the group trip to New Orleans?

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Ashley Darby: NOLA is synonymous with Hurricane cocktails and beads in my book! Every time I’ve been to New Orleans, I’ve had a great time enjoying the food, people, and incredibly rich culture. On the other hand, there was still quite a bit of tension between some of the ladies and myself. I hadn’t really had an opportunity to talk to Karen or Monique, so I wasn’t sure what the vibe was going to be. A fun girls trip seemed like a great time to finally have a discussion with these ladies, I just wasn’t sure how or when it would go down. Honestly, I was a little quiet on the bus ride to the airport just because I was still trying to gauge the situation so as to not misinterpret anything. Thankfully, everyone was in good spirits and the bus ride was super fun! What did you think of Gizelle’s ground rules for the trip?

AD: First, I had to commend Gizelle for choosing a fun place like New Orleans to host us. Quite frankly, even if she turned out to be a busted up host, the city itself would’ve taken great care of us. But by setting the ground rules for making sure we all HAD FUN was pretty necessary with this group based on where our relationships stood. And handing out that turban to protect my ‘do against the infamous Nola humidity was a verrrrry good look.

Are Gizelle Bryant and Karen Huger Really Friends? What did you think of the confrontation between Gizelle and Karen after your cooking class?

AD: I feel like the discussion between Gizelle and Karen was a long time coming. It is difficult for us to comprehend when Karen says people don’t make an effort to be her friend, because she doesn’t make an effort to facilitate a relationship either. In this instance, a commonality Gizelle and Karen share is getting into the beauty business. It makes perfect sense that the two of them would converse about their progress, especially when Gizelle made an effort to introduce Karen to some influential people at the convention.

To be fair to Karen, I can understand her apprehension to a degree. The level of privacy and secrecy that she maintains has been her M.O. for quite some time, but it’s obviously not helping her friendships. It would be my hope that she sees this as an opportunity to grow both personally and professionally.

Also, it is really hard for me to understand Candiace’s aggressiveness about the status of my uterus. What it reinforces to me is her immaturity and lack of understanding about being an adult. While I understand that she (and Karen) haven’t dealt with the pain of a miscarriage, one would think that some sense of feminine care would come into play. Instead of questioning if I’m truly trying to get pregnant (like, what?), perhaps she could’ve taken me aside and asked if I’m okay and inquired about why I may be drinking alcohol. That’s how I know she isn’t truly a friend to me - a ‘freh’ indeed. These complex adult emotions are obviously too complicated for a woman in her 30s still tied to her mother’s apron strings. Perhaps she would better understand if Mrs. Dorothy spoon fed them to her like everything else.

I had a really fun time letting loose with my friends in New Orleans and being in an environment where I wasn’t not thinking about massaging my uterus. If it seems like obsessiveness, it was and I know that isn’t healthy. Besides, thou who dost not LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER is committing a cardinal sin! Who am I to do that babeeeey (in my best New Orleans accent)!

Candiace Dillard Confronts Ashley Darby About Her Drinking
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