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Ben: What's a Bae?

Ben reveals the big lesson he had to learn the hard way with Cyrene.

When you have a wife, three daughters, two daughter-in-loves, one granddaughter, and a lady housekeeper all under one roof, you get to learn a few things about girls. In fact, in my case, I had hoodwinked myself into thinking I was some sort of "expert" on females. Boy was I in for a rude awakening. There is an old proverb that says, "The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know." I found out how much I did not know this week!

My baby daughter Cyrene is now 19 and in full-bloom as a gorgeous young lady. She is dating now, and I am afraid I am way behind the curveball with today's dating terms. What the holy heck is a "bae?" Is that short for "baby," as in the exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend? If not, than what are the "privileges" of a "bae?" Does a bae get the same benefits as a boyfriend? If so, does a boyfriend get the benefits of a husband? If so, what does a husband get (other than the bills)?

I am very proud of all my children. They are all unique, gifted, and special. Though they are on a good path today, much like me and Jewel, they have experienced their fair share of romantic turbulence (you know the pilot in me would pop out sooner or later). Sometimes relationship problems are compounded by one shedding one's clothes too soon. In the area of young teens, I would call it P.C.T. ( Premature Couch Twerking). In an effort to protect Cyrene's virtue, I can be a little overprotective. OK, OK...I can be a LOT overprotective. But I'm a dad. Isn't that what dads do?

I made the mistake of asking Cyrene a question about kissing and petting that included the word "skank." She never heard any of the sentence except the word skank. She interpreted it as me calling her a skank. She was madder than a hungry wet cat in an ice storm with hemmeroids! Lesson #1: Never use the word skank in ANY context, when speaking to your girl(s). Let the church say amen?

Is Cyrene Exhibiting Skank Behavior?

By the way, I never got the answer to my questions on "bae," "boo," "baby," ect. Honestly I don't think the juveniles these days even have an answer. I think they make it up as they go. It takes a village to raise a juvenile, and we are blessed to have great friends in our life like Phaedra Parks, who brought her book tour to our church and was able to stay over and spend time with Jewel and Cyrene. "Auntie" Phaedra was able to challenge Cyrene on the value of discipline. In other words, she put a skirt on what I have been saying all along: "No ringy, no dingy...lock it up." Hooray for the village!

Phaedra Talks the Birds and the Bees

Meanwhile, I'm on a fast track path to toughen up my boys. Marcus is 30, married, with a baby on the way. Benji is married and looking to purchase his first home. I have gotta toughen these spoiled brats up and get them ready to be the backbones of their own families. What better way than to take them back to my foundation: a chicken farm where you have to shovel chicken crap all day! This was hilarious! I thought they would pass out from the smell! I think the lesson was received: Manure is used as fertilizer. Life can bring you crap, but you can repackage it as fertilizer to grow on. 
I believe the chicken farm experience helped the guys realize that Tankard DNA is never-give-up DNA and that they can accomplish any goal in life if they keep moving through all of life's crap with a good attitude. This will help Benji as they purchase their first home (we did decide to lend them the money for the Condo...with conditions) and will help Marcus make sound decisions on the next move for him, Tish, and the baby.

Things are truly busy for the Tankard clan. I am working on my new Full Tank 2.0 CD, Cyrene is preparing to leave for college, Benj and Shanira are moving into their new home, Marcus and Tish are pregnant, Britney is boot camping, Brooklyn is training Diamond to be an entrepreneur, and my darling Jewel is trying to cloak her mid-life-crisis/ forthcoming-empty-nest-syndrome by redesigning the home and purchasing furniture online that is smaller in real life.

Life is good, but keep the receipt, baby (or is it "bae?").

Until next time,

Be Well,


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