Diann Valentine is coming through with compassion and a bright idea for the single ladies out there who hope Valentine's Day passes with about double the speed of a regular day. The To Rome for Love matchmaker and founder of Venus Affect, who creates bespoke luxury getaways with love in mind, has some ways to turn February 14 into your kind of party.
"I think, number one, you have to keep it in perspective, right?" she said in an interview with Personal Space. "It's just a silly manmade holiday. It is not a life changing moment that is going to make or break your life and it should not have that much power to choose your happiness for the day, so that’s the first thing. Having said that, I do think that women, particularly single women, should still celebrate Valentine’s Day because I look at it as you cannot ever love anyone else until you are fully, wholly and completely in love with yourself. And if Valentine’s Day makes you cringe because you feel single or you hate being single or you feel it amplifies your own insecurities, that’s even more reason, I believe, to celebrate it."
That doesn't mean jumping on the candy heart bandwagon, but it does mean surrounding yourself with people who make yourself feel good.
"My single girls, I usually tell them, don't go out, don't try to make plans and go out on Valentine’s Day because you’re going to be inundated with Valentine’s Day innuendos everywhere you go and it's going to amplify that feeling of being alone and being single," she said. "Plan something to stay at home and invite your girlfriends over and make it a single girls love fest for the night. I have done a ton of parties for some of my wealthy single clients on Valentine’s Day where we would do a dinner party and bring in a private chef and we’d set up pampering things for the girls to engage in, whether it's foot massages or neck messages or henna tattoos or fortune tellers or whatever it is to create a fun entertaining night for the evening. I also say if you can, turn it into a pajama party so that everybody feels great to get completely drunk and don't have to worry about driving home for the night."
Throwing a party of any size may or may not be your idea of getting through this day in the best way, but Diann has a second key way that she thinks singles can practice some self-love and appreciation on the 14th that might be a little easier to achieve.
"Another ritual that I think is really important on Valentine’s Day is writing a letter to yourself and sharing with yourself all of the reasons why you are so lovable," she advises. "I think when women are single not only do they beat themselves up for being single, society beats you up as well so you start becoming the stereotype whether you realize it or not. You become that pathetic girl who is always moping or you become the girl who can never get a date during the holidays because it's all a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you start changing the dialect that you tell yourself you begin to change your reality. Words are very very powerful and I don't think people take that serious enough so I always say make sure on Valentine’s Day that you write yourself a letter, tell yourself why you are so lovable, not why you are incapable of finding love."
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