9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a Bulldog

9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a Bulldog

Bulldog parents are just sooooo predictable.

By Kristyn Pomranz

Please do not get this article confused with 9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a French Bulldog. Though these pups may share similar physical names and genes, their personalities are extraordinarily difficult — and it’s really not fair to make assumptions based on their monikers alone.

Now bulldog owners, on the other hand, can (and should!) be widely generalized. Unlike their dogs, they’re pretty much all exactly the same, right down to the extremely specific details. Don’t even think about saying, “Uhh this doesn’t apply to me…?” because that just means you’re in denial. Bulldog parents, we’ve got your number!

You believe in aging gracefully.

Botox? Fillers? Not for you! You say that beauty comes from character — both inside and out.

You have a favorite restaurant, and you go there once a week.

Okay, you’re not exactly Norm from Cheers, but the hostess does know your name, and she knows you prefer a booth, and the waiters ask, “The usual?” And you have a sandwich named after you.

…and on other nights, you order in. Why would you ever cook?

The day GrubHub came into your life was also, truly, the day your life began.

You can chat on the phone for hours and hours on end.

In the age of text messaging, it’s hard to find people who like to actually talk IRL. But you still believe in the lost art of the hours-long phone call, bringing your friends back to their teenage years.

You’re always a little bit suspicious of your neighbor.

It’s not that you think he’s got a meth lab in his garage. It’s just that Mr. Leeds seems to buy a lot of 55-gallon carbon steel drums. He’s really nice and all, but he’s got a sort of chemically smell? YDK, YDK…

Your gym membership has gone untouched for months — if not years.

Your Netflix membership, on the other hand…

You’ve been a bridesmaid (or groomsman) many, many times.

What can you say? You’ve got a lot of friends and you always bring a good time. Plus you’re so easygoing, they know they can count on you to keep everyone calm if things go off the rails.

You’re not too scared to squish a spider.

You hate spiders you hate spiders you hate spiders you hate spiders BUT you will not let your fear stop you from going…right…over…and…SQUISHING IT!!! You did it!!!

You’re into PDA.

You’re into gentle touches and you just can’t stop yourself from grabbing a hand or stealing a kiss — even if you’re out to dinner. (At your favorite restaurant, natch.)

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