Ahh, the annual ritual of picking out the perfect Christmas tree. The entire family gets bundled up and heads to their local forest or farm or corner bodega depending on the community. Then you carefully sidle through the trees, inspecting each one for the best height, the ideal fullness, that unmatched shade of forest green, that unparalleled smell of freshly fallen snow evaporating on pine needles! And after the selection is carefully made, you bring it home and decorate it to the hilt while dancing around, singing Jingle Bell Rock, and sipping on hot cocoa.
It’s all quite excessive, really.
If you really want the ultimate tree? Forgo all those formalities and just dress your dog as one. BEST CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD, guaranteed.
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