9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a Golden Retriever

9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a Golden Retriever

Dear Shannon Beador, Kyle Richards and all the other Golden Retriever owners out there: We know everything about you. Love, Unleashed.

By Kristyn Pomranz

Golden Retrievers are the no.2 most popular dog in America, and with good reason: they’re endlessly kind and loving, and they bring a boundless energy to everything they do (like working out with Shannon Beador or playing ball with Kyle Richards). With such vast popularity across so many social settings, you’d probably assume that there is no “cookie cutter” personality to their owners. But you’re wrong. You are oh-so-wrong. 

All people who have Golden Retrievers also have nine other personality traits in common (at minimum). And despite the fact that the characteristics outlined below may seem highly specific, you will never meet a goldie owner that doesn’t meet each and every one of them. Seriously: Read on and be amazed.

You have a nightly date with Jeopardy!

Oh sorry, is it 7:30pm? You can’t talk. Jeopardy! is on and you’ve gotta see if current six-day champion Josh Hill can keep up this killer winning streak.  

You have the Wildlife Rescue hotline saved in your phone.

When you find an injured bird in the pharmacy parking lot, or a stray fawn who has clearly lost her way, you can’t just turn a blind eye: You call your local wildlife heroes to come help out.

You offer your friends a ride to the airport.

It’s the dreaded drive that nobody wants to do — except for you. Honestly, you just like helping out your friends, and you enjoy getting a little bonus one-on-one time with them before they’re out of town.

You’re on a first-name basis with your barista.

And why shouldn’t you be? You see Bobby every single morning for a grande non-fat vanilla latte; it’s no surprise that he knows how bad your job sucks right now, and you know he’s having girl problems.

People will actually loan you money.

Your friends and family know that if you’re borrowing money, it’s probably for something totally reasonable and responsible, and (no worries) you’ll pay them back in full within two weeks.

You love a good tankini.

Listen, want the freedom of a bikini with the sportiness of a one-piece. A tankini lets you enjoy your beach rabblerousing without risk of wardrobe malfunction — while still leaving it easy to pee.

You keep a Frisbee in your trunk…

Here’s the thing: Your friends always want to, like, “meet up at the park,” or, like, “have a picnic,” and really, those are just wasted opportunities if you don’t have a Friz at the ready.

…and also a soccer ball.

‘Cause some people are just better with their feet, and you don’t want anyone to be left out.

You won at least one high school yearbook superlative.

Best Smile? Class Clown? Most Likely to Succeed? You were definitely awarded one of them, if not all of them and then some, you popular (non-literal) dog, you!

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